[[just you and me*/]

moved!

2007-12-07T11:11:00.000+08:00

hello i changed my blog to http://justonelife-Christ.blogspot.com
please relink, thank you! :D

God's amazing grace!

2007-10-24T19:03:00.000+08:00

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

surprise post!

2007-10-12T18:04:00.000+08:00

i had a very wonderful & happy time at nyjc's open house
i really like the school, & i hope to be able to go in for PAE :D

today has to be one of the most wonderful days of my life
first we had a prayer session at CTK, which was okay
was very touched by mrs goh's speech though
she is the most wonderful vp you can ever have
then we had a 1 hr break - The Last Meal *sobs*
didnt have enough time to make it to the playground,
so went back to class for lessons but everyone ended up taking pictures instead :-)
then after 45 mins later, we had mrs fung's lessons
while i was half-listening, i half-reflected too
and realised what a LONG way i've come
this is my 10th year in st.nicks,
a school that i will always cherish <3
the precious memories & experiences that i've gained are invaluable,
not to mention most importantly the priceless friendships forged
now thinking of all these i want to cry, but i wont
and while all these entered my head,
i realised that today was the very last day of official school in SN
and i didnt believe it.
im staring at the screen now,
trying to think of words to type out that can truly express what im feeling
but above all im most thankful & grateful to God my Father,
without Him i have no life, no peace, no joy, no love
and i would just be like... a zombie
to everyone out there who are going to take their 'O' levels, all of the REDs & esp 4w - keep going okay! dont give up! we have come this far, & if we're going to just give up like that everything will go to waste! so let's just give our best shot for it! cos miracles do happen <3

2007-08-17T19:56:00.000+08:00

http://www.sermonaudio.com
this website really impacted my heart.
how can we stay on path?
how can we know the truth?
'now faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God'
i really want to be a missionary, i really really do
http://heartcrymissionary.com

another week just flew past, i wonder if im even half prepared for prelims.
i dont know, life seems very day-to-day
when its all over, i want my life to count for Christ
thank You Father, Amen

a refreshing day in my zomiefied life

2007-08-04T18:02:00.000+08:00

primary school friends really rule
it is wonderful being able to catch up with friends you really love
friends who have shared so much together
since the days when we were still young & innocent, carefree & happy
till now when we all awake to the changing world which can be so cold sometimes
or maybe most often its just ourselves
thats why being able to remember the past & how we used to be is a precious gift
the tie that binds us altogether, beyond the world that pulls us apart
i thank God with all my heart for these wonderful friends <3

twinni & tudi, thank you so much for today
you guys really made my day
i've missed you all so much, more than i know <3

Celine dion and Josh groban live - the prayer

2007-07-01T18:43:00.001+08:00

its awesome! :D

farewell pics :D

2007-06-22T21:26:00.000+08:00

2007-06-20T20:46:00.000+08:00

haha okay im here to do a little blogging,
it wasnt easy chasing away my little pestering sis who wanted to kill my fish hahaha

anw had a really good & fruitful time at gan ma's hs from monday till just now,
managed to do quite alot of maths & believe it or not, im really starting to like maths.
thank God :D
and i have to blog about just now!
okay all throughout my stay i constantly thought of my little fishy 'jiamei' & was really afraid that it would die.
because last year while i was away at childrens camp my 2 little dear gerbils [cookie & cream] passed away. i was really upset ))))):
i miss the squeaky noises that they make while running on the wheel, the way they gnaw non-stop on the bars of the cage.
but okay, no more about that.so when i reached home immediately the first thing i turned my attention to was my fishy.
and i saw that the water was cloudy & dirty.
so i brought it to the kitchen sink to change the water.
first, i poured everything into a bigger container, then washed the 'tank' thoroughly.
then i put back all the blue pebbles in.
THEN the hard part is getting the fish back into its tank!
the first time i did it,i was pretty scared.because one of my greatest fears is seeing fishes gasping without water, its really a super scary sight okay!
so i lay the small container inside the tank, & tried to make it go inside.when i came close to scooping it up,it suddenly jumped up!!!
wahh gave me a super big scare can!!!
i was really very freaked out,
cos it was like wriggling in the kitchen sink!
then i was like screaming 'jiu ming ah!'
i was really so super scared & memories of the past [where many many many small fishes were wriggling on the floor before all gasping for water] haunted my mind.
i just kept opening the tap bigger so more water would gush out, hopefully giving it some hope of survival.
and whenever i tried to lift it up with my hand it would just keep wriggling, & i was really afraid.
and i kept praying to God not to let JM die.
all of a sudden, i just lifted up the whole thingy & plopped it back into the container..... PHEW.
so now its swimming happily in its tank, healthy & alive.
BIGSIGH. thank God.
jiamei when you see this dont be angry okay.
i was really very anxious for 'jiamei' okay.
okay thats all, im going back to mugging maths tonight, seeyou! <3

shoutout: I LOVE SNCHOIR!

byebye

2007-06-17T21:08:00.001+08:00

hello wont be blogging much anymore,
i really need self-discipline & time-management /:

i miss snchoir so much it hurts <3

choir farewell ..

2007-06-15T21:36:00.000+08:00

if theres one special day that i should ever blog about, its today - choir farewell 2007 <3

haha we played station games which were pretty fun :D
and i dont know why abi asked us to hurry up but we arrived super early for marietta's station in the end.
so guess what?
group C played 'lao ying zhuo xiao ji'!!!
haha it was really fun & screamy,
this is the first time im playing lao ying zhuo xiao ji with choir! <3

we all went to change & report for teabreak @ the forum :D
jiamei & valerie were super adorable can,
one so 'shuai' one so 'cute'! <3
haha anw thank you ALL yellows & blues (esp comm 2007/2008) for putting in so much effort into our farewell.
i nearly teared during choir's item -

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same B
ut when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue S
tay at home talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Will Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be Friends Forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

because we all could see the effort put in to get this together
& once again it hit me
im graduating from snchoir after 4 lovely years ..

i guess nothing can describe the way i feel now
its quite bittersweet
bitter cos we have left snchoir (though not in our hearts, never)
yet sweet cos all the wonderful memories will always be remembered, meant to be treasured <3

im going to spend the night reminscing these 4 years & reading through every letter [:
THANK YOU SNCHOIR for everything,
i'll miss ever single one of you <3

2007-06-12T22:03:00.001+08:00

YAY SLC 2007 IS OVER!!!!! :DDDDD
haha you have no idea how happy & relieve i am, anw i think exco & facils did a good job [:
well done! <3
and after farewell on friday, its full speed ahead for o levels!
i cant wait to turn into a mugger :D

2007-06-10T17:08:00.000+08:00

i am a super good time-waster i tell you.

i miss choir already...
part of me feels like its missing.
but you know what?
im happy for snchoir :D
cos there is a whole bunch of capable & wonderful leaders who will bring snchoir to greater heights [:

i am going down to buy pebbles for tmr's slc opening ceremony, see you

2007-06-07T19:09:00.000+08:00

is this counted as an update?
i doubt so.
too much went past, too much unsaid.
but its okay [:

choir handover today,
all the huge smiles & hugs & joyful/shocked faces reminded me so much of last year - 06072006.
a day that meant so much cos it changed my life,
& a day that made me open my eyes & see how truly blessed & fortunate i am.
thank you Father for snchoir,
every single one of them
thank you Father for fabulous choir comm 2006/2007
all the wonderful experiences & memories that will never be forgotten
i pray now Father for choir comm 2007/2008
that Thou may truly bless them richly
let their love for choir grow & strengthen their bonds with one another
may choir always be a wonderful place to be in,
a second family & place to call home
somehow to share our joy & laughters, even our tears
a place that shapes & moulds us
all according to Your will :D

to choir comm 2008;
haha hello new leaders!
we are very proud of all of you, JIAYOU for the next special 1 year!
we have complete faith that you guys will surely do a wonderful job to serve the choir :D
dont ever hesitate to approach anyone of us (comm2006/2007) if you face any problems,
all the best in everything!
dont be afraid, just go out there & serve with your heart & soul [:
LOVE!

and and and CHERIE CHONG IS PRESIDENT OF HC CHOIR + SL TOO! YAY! <3

2006-11-23T11:31:00.000+08:00

okay there is so much i want to say but there's simply not enough time
cos i have to bathe NOW before i go to school & collect my sis results
haha almost our whole family is going, so excited :D
she thinks shewont do well but i know she will

CHOIR DAY CAMP 2006 went pretty well,
so glad & really grateful to the whole comm plus choir <3
without you guys putting in so much effort & doing everything with so much eagerness
this would never have happen
let this be a trend which carries on every year,
and im sure someday it will turn into an overnight camp !
keep going you guys, love ! [:

CHOIR WORKSHOP was really nice,
even though janoce & i couldnt sing ):
rather stressful at times
but good learning & experience,
very proud of snchoir overall :D
really can see that you guys put in alot of effort throughout,
esp during jaakobin & cigar (sorry dont know how to spell)
that row sitting behind was very nervous for you all
can tell you guys were too
but snchoir you did your best & we are all proud of that [:
BUT do not be complacent as ms lim said,
and the other thing she said is also true
even though it isnt very nice to think about.
every good performance shouldnt just be a one time thing
snchoir should be consistent throughout
in terms of manners, discipline & sound :D

okay i really gotta go now,
cant wait for next week ! :D
haha im so excited,
but will be back in school on thurs though,
cant miss that practice.
and i love errands club,
haha okay thats random.
seeyou guys ! <3

finally the days are drawing near..

2006-11-05T23:09:00.000+08:00

eh stupid yings i deleted the 'links' before i saw your comment k! xP.
haha anw my dear secretary you will have alot of things to record tmr (:

haha im finally blogging again after like 2 months ?
havent really beeen in the cyber mood see (:
anw the year is coming to an end real soon,
and i really cant believe it.
i know ive probably said this a thousand times,
but it really seems like only yst when i was p6.
in the wonderful class of 6purity 20o3 :D

well this seems like a random time to do reflection,
but i think i certainly need to do it.
this year hasnt been easy at all,
and honestly it still isnt very.
but God's grace has brought me through every single situation,
whether or not things went my way.
sometimes i realli hate myself,
i hate myself for not being able to be that perfect child of God,
not being able who i would want myself to be.
but you know what ?
im thankful im not who i used to be.
i witnessed & experienced first-hand His wonderful grace & mercy,
to take a filthy sinner like me into His arms and cleanse my heart from all unrighteousness.
i felt that life-changing power of love which He freely gives,
and i will never be able to forget that indescribable moment/s when i literally felt myself starting life anew.
as i stepped out of youth camp 2004,
i saw everything in a different light.
the same old things had never looked like that before,
and i couldnt stop smiling in my heart & on my face (thats what happened when the joy inside you is too strong),
and all for no apparant reason.
well actually there is,
and that is i had been born again & Christ was in me.
i was born into a Christian family & i know i was saved at a young age (i still rmb raising my hand and saying the sinners' prayer when i was about 4/5 yrs old [: ,
but honestly i never realli knew the true meaning of being one or the powerful working of the Holy Spirit in my heart.
when Jesus Christ knocks at your heart, let Him enter in.
but time and time again i've failed to keep my promises & commitments,
being drowned by the world's cares & troubles,
wallowing in self-pity and being so full of myself all the time.
i hate my pride, i hate my selfishness.
i want to run away from myself !
looking back at the entire year,
there was not a single time when my Lord failed me.
even when i was unfaithful, untrusting, disobedient,
He was always there..
i put so many things before my Lord,
choosing to serve men instead of God.
often i feel lost & empty,
desiring with all my heart to be reconciled with Him.
knowing it's my own sin & pride which prevents me from doing do but not knowing what to do ! /:
i pray with all my heart youth camp 2006 will be an amazing revival,
giving God all the glory & seeing His power working in every single soul.
childrens' camp : 27 nov-1 dec
youth camp : 11-15 dec
i cant describe what my soul is feeling right now,
all i can say is that im longing for the Holy Spirit, in every way & everyday.
God bless you <3

like the woman at the well i was seeking
for things that would not satisfy
and then i heard my Savior speaking
'draw from my well that never shall run dry.'
fill my cup Lord, i lift it up Lord
come and cleanse this thirsting of my soul
bread of heaven, feed me till i want no more
fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole !
so my brother if the things this world gave you
leave hungers that wont pass away
my blessed Lord will come and save you
if you kneel to Him and humbly pray :D

im scared ..

2006-10-05T20:31:00.000+08:00

I trust God rather than men
I want to cry
I have brought this upon myself
Im feeling super stressed and worried right now
I don’t know what to do
Lord have mercy on my soul
As You always have
Im sorry Father
I really am …

trials & difficult times.

2006-09-13T23:29:00.000+08:00

embrace the tough times that the Lord brings,
enter into it with a pure heart and sound mind,
trusting in Him fully and seeking to do His Will.
i want to glorify Him in all that i do.
so much happens everyday,
time passes and waits for no one.
but dont forget to life your eyes and look around you for the simple blessings we tend to take for granted everyday.
little smiles & laughter, the few warm friendly hugs you receive, for the breath of life itself.
thank God for good things & bad things, for friends & family, for love & care.
thank God for the ground that you step on, the wind you feel in your face, the trees and flowers that you see all around you.
thank God for the food that you eat, your home that you live in, the bed that you sleep & rest in.
but most of all, i thank God for His Spirit.
Amen.

a heart filled with joy :D

2006-08-29T01:21:00.000+08:00

thank you Lord, for revealing your will to me.
all the times i waited, you made me patient.
you told me 'My child, be still. My plan will unfold.'
i never knew, i never expected.
but the minute Lord it was offered,
i knew it was You.
You knew all along, You planned it all.
the greatest thing on earth,
is to be Your humble servant, waiting at Your feet.
thank you Lord, for all You've done
i dont deserve Your love :D

im embarking on a new journey
though strange may it be
because the end of year i see
but in my hands i hold a new set of keys
my life, Lord i give unto Thee
on the road, up and down
like a rollar coaster ride
may You lead me in every step i stride :D

The Victor's Crown
the runners all stand ready
the crowd is looking on
the starting gun is sounded
and the race is now began
beginning seems so easy
but soon i feel the pain
then i hear from heaven's above
and it's calling out my name !

chorus
be faithful, christian
and run the race
keep looking upwards
and seek My face
keep pressing on,
endure the struggle now
and I will give to you the victor's crown (x

i keep my eyes on Jesus
He knows which path is right
i trust His Word to lead me
through the day and through the night
whenever im discouraged
He comes along beside
when i fall my Saviour picks me up
and He keeps my hope alive !

chorus

an experience .

2006-08-13T15:53:00.000+08:00

it isnt the LIFE of a believer that im living right now,
it's only the EXPERIENCE of one.
i constantly remind myself that every single thing that happens,
no matter how big or small,
is a spiritual warfare in everyway.

the week has been realli nice,
after much excitement to complete relaxation and then back to full-speed busy & stress mode.
what a week !

to the sec 4s ;
i want to thank every single one of you guys for giving so much to us, the choir.
you are valuable in every way,
much treasured by us all.
the memories we will never forget,
we hope you'll rmb them too :D
it has truly been a wonderful journey & time
travelled and spent with you all,
we wish you all the best in whatever you do,
from now on.
choir will work like never before for that GwH,
we will do you proud.
thanks for everything,
take care and we<3you ! :D

oh Lord, when will you come ?
my soul longs for you like never before.
work in me and through me please,
i find no use for my wretched soul.
i surrender fully to Thee Lord,
break me and cleanse me,
a new creation i want to be.

and to _____ ,
i know you guys want the best for it.
but please trust me,
i dont want to do this.
i dont dare to step in,
because i know i will commit.
i've made my choice,
a very firm one.
that's why i answered immediately.
my reason may not seem valid or enough to reject,
but i want to focus because i realli<3choir alotalotalot.
please make the right choice,
not for me but for it too.
i have trust and hope in you guys,
thanks for everything.

im BACK ! :D

2006-07-09T19:03:00.000+08:00

hello !!!!!
haha im finally back after more than one month of disappearance :D
so much has passed,
esp the unforgettable day on 0607'06.
it was an indescribable feeling and realisation,
and honestly up till now i haven been able to truly accept it yet.
but no matter what comes my way,
i will trust God wholeheartedly and follow His guiding hand (:
now choir, we want that GWH dont we ?
YES ! :DDD
there so many people dear to my heart that i want to thank,
if i typed your names here it would be a never-ending list.
i hope you guys dont distant yourselves form me or anything,
because realli, my role isn't that far up.
im still part of choir,
right there tgt with you guys :D
i want to say sorry in advance for any mistakes im going to make,
cos im sure there would be sometime.
but trust me, trust us.
we will give our best for choir !
i love CHOIR and CHOIR COMM '06/07 very very much !
hugehuggies ! <3

my story.

2006-05-30T20:49:00.000+08:00

there was once a girl.
she stepped into sec 3 without knowing what she was in for.
ignorant and unprepared,
she got landed with the unexpected.
she hated it, she dreaded it, she wanted to rid it.
but amidst her dislike for it,
she knew she had to face and complete the responsibilities that come together with it.
and since she had a realli nice partner,
things werent that bad,
cos they beared and endured through everything together :D
soon each event passed and duties became everyday routines,
unknowingly all these had become a part of this girl's life.
it wasnt until a special camp in march that something striked her and she realised-
she had actually learned to love being part of it.
her role, the duties and responsibilities, and everything else that came with it, she no longer dreaded nor hated it.
because she had realised something :
it wasnt about the rank or power, the title or glory,
it was about the people.
it was the people inside that made everything enjoyable,
no matter how much pressure and stress she had to go through together with her partner,
everything seemed worth it in the end.
the new friendships built, the bond that she shared with many others, the level of interaction with people, the smiles and laughter (or even tears), the many good times spent together - all these was what the girl truly treasured.
she didnt pine after any title, power, or glory,
she simply enjoyed tremendously that special connection she had with many people because of the rank that was thrown to her.
but in committing herself to it,
she neglected her studies.
though it wasnt the onli factor,
it was undoubtingly one.
and when her results came out,
this girl did very badly.
she was ashamed, but most of all troubled that she was disappointing people around her who cared.
she determined in her heart not to run,
not because she didnt want to contribute anymore,
in fact she REALLY wants to continue doing that- serving and giving her best for it, helping to organise the many activities and being a part of everything;
but because she felt that it deserved a better leader.
she knows that it is an honour and privilige to be in it's exco,
but she also knew that she would be called to sacrifice something.
she didnt want to choose, and honestly, still doesnt.
but if she cant even strike a good balance in sec 3,
how on earth will she be able to do it in sec 4 when the workload is so much worse ?
it wont be fair.
it wont be fair to her parents for everything that they have hoped for in her,
it wont be fair to her teachers who put in so much effort to teach her,
it wont be fair to her friends who have always spurred her on and encouraged her,
but most of all it wont be fair to it.
the hardest thing now is receiving everyone's comfort and love,
the faith and hope placed in her grows each day,
until finally she feels that the choice she has to make is no longer an individual one,
but an obligation to fulfill everyone else's expectations.
she felt lost, not knowing what to do.
half of her doesnt want to give up what she is doing now,
but yet the other half knows that she should.
disappointments will soon fade, and everything will be alright once again.
so it doesnt realli matter, does it ?
'dont care about what others think, what do YOU want ?'
'i want you to be happy. i dont want you to regret your choice.'
'i just want you to know that no matter what you choose, i will respect your decision and fully support you.'
these are heartwarming displays of care and concerned shown in words of others (x
the heart of this girl is melted by overwhelming love,
she recognises and deeply appreciate the wonderful friends that she has.
she thanks God everyday for the lovely people around her,
who have never failed to add colour to her life :D
but this girl also knows that in spite of everything,
she will onli look to one being for help,
and that is God.
this girl's greatest desire is to be part of His plan,
to let Him work through her each day,
and she is ready to face the challenges ahead,
come what may.
as long as everything is in His Will,
every end of a journey is the beginning of a new one (:
not many, maybe not even one, understands how and why this girl feels and think this way,
and that is why at times the road can be frustrating as she struggles with priorities and choices to make.
love makes the world go round- how true this phrase is.
this girl hasnt made a final decision,
she hasnt decided.
she's simply waiting for God to reveal His plan to her through the many factors in her everyday life,
be it studies, parents, teachers, or friends.
but for now,
this girl wants YOU to know that she loves you very very very much :D
thank you for everything, the memories will last forever.

busy, busy, busy (x

2006-05-14T15:55:00.000+08:00

havent been blogging for quite a while.
busy days, busy life /:
but i enjoy ! (:

so much has gone by,
obs girls are back ! :D
haha missed them loads (x
suddenly dont know why there's too much to say until i simply cant type anything down /:
but i realli realli REALLI want to go church camp.
pretty please ?

i want to be revived :D
not caring abt my own selfish desires,
focusing on what is most impt in my life : God !
living a righteous and pleasing life to Him,
and facing trials and adversities with a smile (x
i thank God so much for the many people He has put into my life as wonderful blessings (x
reaching out to lost souls and helping those in need,
i want to do that for God.

im afraid, the DVC is coming out.
but the Bible has stood through many tests of times,
and for centuries no one or nothing has been able to undermine its great words of truth and wisdom,
it will certainly stand through this
and remain what it is : God's Word !

okay gtg ! byebye ! :D

another week has passed .

2006-04-22T00:18:00.000+08:00

wowee time realli flies.
i cant believe just last week was good friday.
easter was a wonderful day.
the significance of his ressurection is so great
you might not be able to grasp it.

He conquered death
victory over sin
He reigns supreme
and He lives in me (x

this week has been up and down.
everyone has their own problems.
but the love for my friends will never die off
if His love for me never ends :D

if i were a butterfly
i'd thank You Lord for giving me wings
if i were a robin in a tree
i'd thank You Lord that i could sing
and if i were a fish in the sea
i'd wriggle my tail and i'd giggle with glee
but i'd just thank You Father for making me me ! :DDD

thank You Lord for bringing me through this week
You have shown me how important it is to trust in You
and never to rely on my own strength for anything
not to worry about tmr
but instead to commit it all into Your hands
i dont want to lose this sober moment of realisation
this feeling of peace, joy and comfort inside me
thank You Lord for everyday i have
not for me, but for You
all these i pray in Your precious name
Amen.

i gotta go sleep now
want to go jogging early tmr morning !
good for relaxation quality time spent talking with God (x
i want a better timing too :D
so goodnight everyone.
love ! (:

today is good friday .

2006-04-15T00:12:00.000+08:00

the significance of the death of Christ my Lord .

it was for me He died ,
for me He cried ,
for me He shed His blood upon the tree .
it was for me He came ,
for me His pain ,
for me oh praise His name it was for me ! :D

amazing love ;
how can it be ?
that Thou my God shouldst die for me .

my mind's in a whirl now
i cant think straight .
i feel like im gna faint - literally .
everything is spinning ,
i dont know what to do .
i also dno why its like that .

a battle of faith as i journey on ,
but i will remain grounded in truth and faith .
He cant deny Himself ; and i will not deny Him .
no one can convince me of God's nonexistent ,
because i have encountered and experienced Him in my very own life ,
and i KNOW He is real .
christianity is not based on a lie ,
the DVC is .
dont read it , dont watch it .
it wont do you any good .
i cant believe i have allowed myself to doubt ,
but no longer .

relying too much on myself
trying to do everything in my own strength
wanting to take control of my own life
and everything goes wrong .
committing your life to Jesus Christ
throwing yourself into His hands
letting Him work in and through you
and everything turns out fine in the end because He takes care of it .

i dont know wads wrong and wads going on
dont want to think too .
my mind's tired .
maybe tmr when i jog and talk with God agn :D
okay im realli kinda giddy now .
goodnight people .
please pray for me (:

i thank God for friends (x

2006-04-07T22:41:00.000+08:00

this whole week has been rather wonderful ,
everything went smoothly .
awyong ask me to blog ,
but like got nothing significant leh .
haha or maybe my brain just doesnt feel like thinking .
oh well no matter what ,
i MUSNT oversleep tmr morning
and i mean it .
i missed so many guitar sessions alr ,
i must be disciplined and committed !
-punches fist in the air .
okay shall go blog-hopping now (x
byebye !
-bounces off happily :D

i took a nap in the evening .

2006-04-04T00:09:00.000+08:00

thats why im not sleepy now .

it was raining realli heavily this afternoon ,
thunderstorm and lightening !
the whole sky was filled with dark clouds ,
and you could practically see them blowing so quickly across the sky .
lou and cinch were realli afraid
but i kinda liked the whole atmosphere though .
haha wimps thinks im sick .
but seeing that flash of lightening was realli quite enlightening :D
lol okay maybe now you think im mad too .

im becoming an owl ,
sleep in the day rise at night .
oh well (x
just felt like doing random blogging .
goodnight people ! (:

im so tired ...

2006-04-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

yes i am , even though i dont know why .
i have little eye bags below my eyes ,
though i slept for like 9 hours plus .
erps /:

im glad another sch week's over ,
but it'll soon be here agn .
thank God for bringing me through every single day ,
or i might just give up anytime .

today was quite an okay day ,
but i feel realli bad cos i overslept AGAIN and missed guitar .
ugh im so ill-disciplined and uncommitted ,
i dont know what to do .
and at the later part of the day things got bad ,
emotionally and mentally .
i got real irritated , frustrated and angry .
had a long talk with God and ranted everything out to Him ;
from the window-sill to the park to on top of the slide in the playground .
thats my absolute fav spot in the whole neighbourhood :D
i feel much much better (:
everything abt Him is amazing , realli .

its realli hard to love someone you dislike if you try to do it with your own strength
but think of the way God loves us
such inmeasurable love despite all our imperfections and sin
ask Him to grant you compassion and love
imitate Christ in all you do
that way you can never go wrong .

im sorry im such a lousy child ,
often so disappointing .
deep inside my heart i love You very much ,
more than the tongue can tell .
Youre always there for me ,
when no man can ever be .
You understand so fully ,
when no one else can truly .
thank you Lord for dying for me ,
nothing can replace Your love :D
please take my life and use it in any way you want ,
i cant find anything good in it .
iloveyouLord (x

my eyes kinda hurt
gotta go off soon .
hope i can wake up for church tmr !
realli hope i can go over and catch up with my dearest mei ,
i miss her so much !
but may not be able to cos its qing ming jie .
oh well /:
mei -
just wanna say i often rmb the fun times we use to have when we were younger and so much more innocent and carefree , i still love you as much , or maybe even more now that i realise how precious our friendship is being sustained on memories . thanks for everything we have together , i love you very very much . HUGS ! :D

goodnight everyone ,
thanks for the wonderful tags :D

first free sch day ! (x

2006-03-29T18:18:00.000+08:00

haha im feeling free today .
somehow i dont think its supposed to be this way ,
but aww well .
shan't think abt work now ! :D

i have been failing every single thing ,
from emaths to chem to amaths to YET another chinese kao cha .
oh well at least it doesn break up the nicely set trend of every single failed chinese piece that i had to far this yr /:

51.5/100 for compo ,
10.5/20 for ying yong wen ?
UGH .
dont ever speak manderin to me ,
im a chinese illiterate .
i also dont like it this way ,
but i dont know what to do .
if i ever score well in anythg ,
it ends up not being graded .
hmph . im sad ):

haha im watching the parent trap now ,
its hilarious ! (x

oh well the week has been great so far ,
thank God for everything .
maybe i'll go walking again later :D

dont depend on men
or your own strength ,
rely on God always
He never fails you

... is this life for me ?

2006-03-26T22:14:00.000+08:00

haven been blogging for a week !
kinda miss it la ...

well my life is realli busy ,
but many times i enjoy cos there's always so much fun .
but i realise even this kind of life can become routinal .
i promised to be disciplined ,
nothing is realli proven yet .
i do hope i dont become a disappointment .
i need God so much ,
i dont want to feel lost and empty the way i always am when i neglect Him .

school starts tmr ,
my weekends disappear before i even know they came .
but i realli do enjoy my busy and fun life ,
just that i do need rest once in a while .
responsibilities are popping up again ,
but im not stressed ,
and i wont allow myself to be .
after all i know im not alone (x

and here's a special note to someone :
i hope everything's fine now ,
and youre getting back on track .
i realli sorry for neglecting you this year
even though we promised not to say sorry to each other anymore .
i hope youre clearer abt your priorities now ,
i guessed you realised that man always disappoints ;
im one example .
but God never fails you .
i'll be praying (x
God bless you !

ok i gotta go now ,
its past 1020 .
came online to unwind a little ,
but i realli must be disciplined .
if you see me pls help to motivate yea ?
thank you :D

ok im falling asleep on the comp ...

2006-03-23T23:43:00.000+08:00

yes i am .
so this is gna be another short post !
im realli glad tmr is friday .
this week has been tough yet simple ,
full of ups and downs .
well hope things remain well (:
and once again ;
i realli do love my tagboard ! :D

i love my march hols (:

2006-03-17T18:15:00.000+08:00

ok this is gonna be short post
cos ive been online rather long alr and my mind and eyes feel tired .

i love my march hols , i realli do .
vbs was real fun :D
even though on th first day we were still trying to get used to everything ,
just like the first day of childrens' camp .
but then i think we all prayed harder for the second day ,
and it was then things begin to sink in .
the next day ended up being wonderful (:
i love little children , i realli do .
even the naughtiest kids know when you truly care ,
strive to make a difference :D

pmb camp was so much fun !
haha i couldnt stop smiling the whole of thurs .
even though our group kept losing for so many things ,
i love us cos we're so bonded :D
i think the excos did a realli gd job for everything ;
the station games , time crisis plus night trail .
night trail rocked ! (x
made new friends , realli had an amazingly good time (:
even though i keep getting bullied !
-glares and audrey and ahmain
hahaha :D
i realli love group 9 alot ,
you guys rock ! -HUGS :DDD

ok my eyes and mind are dying on me alr ,
i think i'd better go slp early tmr .
slept for onli like 3 hours last night ?
haha but it was fun in everyway .
esp the unanimous screaming parts while watching 'riding the bullet' :D

mrs goh's talk was realli gd .
i realised ;
a leader is not who you are , its who you become .
im sorry for everything i've done which contradicts who im supposed to be ,
sorry to classmates out there who have seen and along the way kinda lost respect for me ,
sorry to the sec 4s up there who have been watching and hearing and have been disppointed ,
im sorry in every way .
i may never be perfect ,
but i'll try my best to be who i can be .
thank you for not losing faith and always believing that i can be who i am .
i dont think i've said this before ,
but after this camp i also realised something else :
i am proud to be a member of the pmb (x

the hols are here ! :D

2006-03-13T12:55:00.000+08:00

ok i just typed a very long post just now and my sis made it disappear !
ARGH i have the urge to feel realli pissed right now .
seriously .
fine but i shant .
wwjd ?
He wouldnt get angry over this ,
that's for sure .

anw im realli glad the hols are here ,
even though they shouldnt be called hols cos they never are ,
but nvm !
i love activities-filled hols ,
better than boring and nothing to do ones right .
hahaha (x

fiesta was great fun !
everything was lovely ,
but the highlight of the day was definitely : the phantasmagoria !
hahah we went in a group of 6
toured the whole drama studio in darkness
held hands and screamed all the way .
though i was laughing half the time (x
the most memorable part was at the end of the journey ,
when everyone thought we were gna exit soon .
then suddenly this hidden person from behind a pillar jumped out at us !
LOL and guess wad happened next ?
we all screamed and sat down !
hahaha (x
its was hilarious , i'll never forget that .
when we came out all of us were laughing and panting so hard ,
we had problems breathing properly .
haha and diana went seriously hysterical cos apparently she was the onli one who didnt sit down at the last part !
-laughs :D

ahh well , fiesta came and went .
but i'll rmb it forever , just like 2003 funfair (x
i miss you alot mei (;

woke up at 7 this morning ,
guess my body is used to waking up early for school .
went for a long walk and talk session with God in th park .
i dont want my life to be screwed ,
i realli dont .
im looking forward to vbs ,
but i know in order to make a difference and impact the childrens' lives ,
my relationship with God has to be right first .

as the deer grows thirsty
longing for the brook
so my heart is panting for Your living Book
speak Lord through its pages
lead me with its light
give me heaven's wisdom
make my pathway bright

speak Lord , speak Lord
im listening today
speak Lord , speak Lord
i'll do all You say
guide me in Your perfect path
help me never stray
oh speak Lord , speak Lord
and i will obey

cleanse me from transgression
make me pure within
search my heart's affections
show me hidden sin
quiet each disturbance
drowning out Your voice
speak Lord in the stillness
make my heart rejoice

chorus

i gotta go suntan now .
haha thanks to dearest twinni ,
hope we both become charcoal ! :D
i love every single one of you , yes i do (x

2006-03-03T22:00:00.000+08:00

i love my tag board alot alot.
i seriously do :D

today was an extremely exhausting day
mentally , not physically .
wat happened in the morning got me thinking abt everything else
comparing last year to this year
in terms of friendship and me myself and i .
i never used to be so affected
by everything and everyone else .
im stepping down one level
just like the others .
but i DONT WANT to ,
i realli dont .
all the time i wonder is it just me ?
im still thinking of the answer .

i asked myself ,
' is it realli so hard to be different ?'
' i dont know , but its definitely not easy at all .'
came the reply .

you might think im mad
maybe i am .
im not even sure sometimes .
i was hurt because i care ,
i hope you realise that .
this world is full of selfishness ,
i dont want to be drowned .
at times i think i care too much ,
love too much ,
and think way too much .
but deep inside i know its a gift from God
and i should treasure it .
i try my best to stay the way i would love myself to be ,
to forgive forget and continue loving .
that was how it was last year ,
when everything was perfect .
well , almost .
but this year its hard ,
its realli realli hard .
i cant hold on , i cant take it ;
not anymore .
i guess my inner soul knows im trying with my own strength ,
not depending on Him for all .

im just a normal teenage girl ,
wat else do you expect ?
after all i hope you (or me) realise
that really , im not perfect .

invest is over , finally .
pmb did well , efforts pay off (x
thank God .
plus many other special people (;
from the bottom of my heart ,
one BIGHUG :D

glory be to Him in all i do :D

2006-02-25T01:31:00.000+08:00

this year is turning out quite well ,
now that im adapting to the life and relying on God for strength in everything i do .
im so looking to nxt friday : first free recess !
YAY ! :DDD
haha i guess everyone's worn out and rather sian ,
but hang in there !
after nxt thurs everything will be fine agn (:

so sad im gna miss guitar session in church tmr .
sobs .
aww well but at least i'll be there for youth mtg ! :D

oh man rjc's drama fest seriously rocks !
haha it was a great fun night :D
i am SO proud to say that isabelle was from sn ,
she was super beyond imagination .
haha and her hair rocks too !
so cute (x

there are so many things need to thank God for .
for each day i have
for the smiles and laughter He gives me
the strength and endurance to pull thru each day
a willing heart to listen to His Word
and most imptly ,
the people around me .
for friends , family , even teachers (x
whoever you meet along life's road is not a coincidence ,
its all part of His big plan
one that at times you wont understand .
but you dont have to ,
just trust in Him.

oh wad would i do without Him ?
i'd rather die than live this meaningless life .
yes i would :D

i thank Thee (x

2006-02-19T23:40:00.000+08:00

the memories of 2005 are hitting me like bricks against one's head .
why must you lose a year to truly realise its wonders ?
but i thank God for each one of you who have touched my heart and made a difference in my life .
you are special in every way : D
iloveyou (x

2006-02-12T15:30:00.000+08:00

happiness came looking for me , when i started to give happiness to others .

i wanted to put that at the end of my entry , but it was too impt so i put it first instead .
i have been telling everyone how horrible sec 3 life has been ,
then i realised how selfish i am .
i accept the good things in life from God ,
i praise and thank Him .
but when the bad things come ,
how do i face them ?
all things are given by God ,
and i know He puts me through trials and struggles so that i may become stronger .

yes i am different from last year ,
and it is not a change that is good .
yet there is onli ONE thing that can change me from within ,
to be back who i was ,
to regain that smile and laughter that i had everyday of my sec 2 life ,
and that is by the working of the Holy Spirit in me ,
thru His powerful Word .

i have not forgotten that indescribable joy and peace i had ,
it was wonderful ;
too amazing for words .
and im desperate to have it again .

' a revival does not have to be a big event ,
you must have a teachable and humble heart .'
quoted from yixiang .

again i realli thank God for weekends which i can rest .
i look forward so much to every sat and sunday ,
for truly nothing is sweeter than brethen fellowship .
i must be disciplined , to do my quiet time every week .
Lord grant me strength please .

i will not clamour after big and self-satisfactory things ,
instead i shall be content with the little things and count my daily blessings (:
count your blessings name them one by one ,
count your blessings see what God has done

i am also aware that im not alone in the problems that i face ,
there are many others who are also weary and drained by the world's fast pace ,
mainly youths .
we all wish for the clock to turn back ,
all the way back to children's camp and youth camp ,
except this time i will treasure it ALOT more .

i had tons of funn in church yst .!
the valentine's day program was cute , tiring , and surprising .
before the whole thing started ,
when we were singing songs and praises to God ,
tears just flowed down my face .
i couldnt stop them , as much as i wanted to .
after 5 full days in the world ,
i could finally step into God's house ,
sing and worship Him with voices from my heart ,
and hear His Word again .
i love my weekends so much :D
but i know its not enough to renew my mind ,
i have to do it daily .
and so it all boils down to discipline and commitment ,
which sadly , i lack .

still i know im cared for ,
and i must treasure everyone around me .
i thank Thee every hour .

a change of mind , a change of heart .

2006-02-06T20:40:00.000+08:00

ive decided not to hate sec 3 life anymore .
im gonna face it with a smile (:
letting go is hard ,
but i shan't cling onto the past .
this life i have is wad God has given me ,
and i shall treasure it .
i wont complain or grumble ,
instead i will count my blessings ,
and as always i will be amazed at wad the Lord has given me .
He will not lead you to where He will not bring you through .
i love that sentence .
its meaning is so deep,
yet so simple .
not i , but Christ .
i will stay commited and focused .
i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me .
Philippians 4:13
iloveYouLord .

im feeling blank .

2006-02-05T17:29:00.000+08:00

oh well wad can i say ?
i thank God school was onli for 3 days .
i want to get out of this nightmare .
sec 3 is everything i never wanted it to be .
did i expect it ?
i dont think so .
how can anyone expect this kind of life ?
i didnt choose this path ,
i DONT WANT this path .
why must i take it then ?
why ?

i failed my chinese test ,
my maths result is lower than the class average ,
im currently a proud member of the learning club ,
maths is still driving me crazy ,
i just plucked my tooth yst and cos of that i had fever this morning ,
im realli worried abt item preparation ,
i found out i forgot to hand in eng letter and its graded ,
i didnt bring home my history textbook and there's a test next week .

i realise i sound realli low and sad in all my posts .
but how can i force myself to be happy when im not ?
many people i know hate sec 3 life too /:
i look forward to saturdays ,
but then i have to endure the WHOLE week to get there .
im worried , im dreading .
i dont want school .
Lord please help me .

happy new year !

2006-01-30T18:49:00.000+08:00

my family is out to bai nian , yet im home .
why ?
because im sick .
sighs not realli in a mood for blogging ,
or doing anything else for that matter .
im feeling neutral , too neutral , scaringly neutral .
there's a ton of work waiting for me ,
but im not doing it .
im dreading wed , cos thats when school reopens .
i dont believe in myself ,
i dont think i can handle it .
whenever i think of the days that are drawing nearer ,
a sense of dread overwhelms me .
i know im not standing alone ,
so why do i feel that way ?
i keep telling myself : i cantdoit .
but that just shows my unfaithfulness .
how can i not trust Him ?
im afraid of myself .
am i becoming someone im not ,
or more specifically , didnt use to be ?
am i losing the friends that were once so dear to me ?
i feel that friendships are being stretched to their limits ,
when you belong to two different worlds .
i cant smile ,
i simply cant .
how i miss my sec two life .
it was SO different than the life im living now .
i rmb it full of smiles , laughter , joy , hugs , quality time spent with true friends .
what is my sec 3 life like ?
from the way im living now ,
not good at all .
i dont want to continue like this ,
my burden's too heavy .
i keep having these sudden high and low emotions ,
but mostly they're low .
am i going through depression ?
i dont think so ,
at least i hope not .
the drums downstairs are giving me a headache .
someone please ask them to stop .

but when I break you ,
so that My Name be glorified
I'll never leave you ,
never forsake you .

it came and went .

2006-01-24T20:41:00.000+08:00

yupp im officially fifteen ,
as of yst morning 1200 am .
indeed every bday is different ,
but every one each year is so special .
i thank God for friends who make my day ,
and putting smile on my face .
for every single person who cared ,
i thank you :D

4 cakes in 2 days !
haha can you imagine the amt of calories i gained ?
thanks wl and diana so much for their super nice personalised bday cake ,
you guys are just so sweet ! :DDD
but the loud song was unnecessary though .
hahaha .
it came and went , and now its over .
sighs dont you just wish everyday cld be your bday ?
yes i do :D

but joyful memories aside ,
im feeling so tired .
im feeling numb with all the work ,
which i never seem to be able to complete .
everything is graded ,
everything is impt .
how do i set my priorities right ?
i feel like a helpless person who has just fallen into sinking sand ,
it pulls you down increasingly .
and the more you struggle ,
the deeper you sink .
finally ,
you'll just be buried underneath everything .
not being able to shout 'help!' ,
not being able to save yourself .

but im wrong ,
theres always God whom i can depend on .
He's always there ,
no matter where and when .
who do you cry to when youre down ?
who do you run to when youre in trouble ?
who do you tell your sorrows to ?
who do you depend on fully when youre helpless ?
who do you trust and know you'll never be betrayed ?
who do you go to for wise advice ?
who will truly and always love you forever ?
Him .

im too tired to even smile properly .
yet there's still so much to do .
i dont need sleep liao .
byebye .

2006-01-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

when work overloads you , you dont think anymore .
you simply do and hope to get it done and over with .
sighs im like waiting for 4 more ppl to give me their emails .
hurry pls /:

had so much fun in church today !
went for guitar session in the morning ,
lunched out ,
youth meeting after that ,
fun and games session ,
then youth choir (:

lols wad a busy day , yet i feel so much more relaxed .
like taking a total break from school .
i NEED to do my quiet time today .
i HAVE TO .
i cant go on without renewing my mind ,
i want to walk with Jesus everyday of my life .

im just a typical teenage student ,
trying desperately to juggle between schoolwork , responsibilities , cca , and friendships .
its not easy when everything seems to be bombarding you .
but i will trust HIM .
the path i am on may not be what i want ,
but if it is what He wants ,
then im more than willing to take it .
thankyouLordforeverything .
esp for friends who make life so much easier by just being there for you .

naima i love you ! :D

memories .

2006-01-20T22:45:00.000+08:00

good memories ,
bad memories .
the memories of 2trutho5' will never leave my mind .
special memories of special days will never be forgotten ,
but it wont be the same this year /:
i just thank God for each day i have ,
not expecting anythg from anyone else .
goodmorning :D

school life is hectic beyond belief .

2006-01-18T22:53:00.000+08:00

lol ok i may have exaggerated .
its not beyond belief ,
but its IS hectic all the same .

i dont understand .
i feel disappointed in myself ,
neglecting Him after all He has done for me .
Lord how can you love me ?
truly , Your love is so deep i cannot comprehend .
i can never understand ,
but i thank You SO MUCH .
i rather die than live a life without You .
i need You so badly Lord , so badly .
i need Your strength , Your wisdom ,
Your endurance , Your patience ,
Your understanding .
let me depend on you for EVERY SINGLE THING .
i thank You Lord ,
i love You Lord .

2006-01-16T21:01:00.000+08:00

p.s. daokia !
sorry la my phone was charging ma .
haha well at least you found me in the end ! :D
and i cant find your gb .
hehh im dumb (x
ok seeya tmr ! -huggs .

i thank God for every single day i have ...

2006-01-16T20:30:00.000+08:00

i truly thank God for being so loving and merciful ,
for always staying with me no matter what happens .
not by my own strength Lord , but Yours .
give me wisdom , i thank You so much .
iloveYouLord

im gna breakdown ...

2006-01-15T20:35:00.000+08:00

BIG SIGHS .
oh well . last week was like super busy .
ok actually not realli .
onli until thurs , and fri .
but bcos of that two days , my WHOLE week seem super busy .
im kinda stressed out .
over duties , item preparation and everything .
yst i got realli UPSET while doing maths .
it might sound stupid , but seriously i have nvr felt so STUPID in my whole entire life .
i pay attention in class , i try my best .
so why cant i do it ?
WHY ?
others take a few mins , i try over and over agn fo more than an hour .
and wad do i get ?
a wrong answer .
oh well .
i was considering getting tuition , but then diana offered to teach me !
haha actually its supposed to be a study group ,
but obviously she'll be the one teaching right .
hehh i realli wanna to improve man !
cant cope cant cope .

ive been so selfish , proud , and self-centred .
i want to do everything with my own strength ,
not depending on God .
i just cant stand myself .
Lord im realli sorry , i cant do anything with my own strength .
i realli cant .
i realise that every single role and duty You have given me is within Your will .

though i may never understand , i'll trust with all my heart .
and from the course that You have set i never want to part ,
in searching for Your way and wisdom teach me if You would ,
that for all time in every way my God is good ...

yes that is so true .
i shall trust with all my heart .
wad i want is not impt , wad matters is His desire .
oh Lord i realli need you ,
every single minute of my life .
give me wisdom , strength , endurance , patience .
LordiloveYou

cant wait for tmr !

2006-01-09T20:43:00.000+08:00

yupp yipee !
haha its ALWAYS like that .
when sch strts , you just treasure hols so much more .
even if its onli for a day .
lol .
cant wait to see twinni and ng tmr ! :D

sec 1 cca registration today was gd (:
choir booth rocks !
haha there were so many names signed up , im excited for thurs !
hahaha .
realli hope we'll get nice juniors (:

i want to be close to God agn .
i dont want to be lazy , tempted to spend my free time on other things .
this was what i was dreading ,
and yet now im in it ,
i dont feel anything .
but i know i need Him , always and forever .
He is my ultimate strength , i depend on Him for everything .
thank you Lord , for always loving me despite the dreadful sinner i am .
i neglect You , i disobey You , i dishonour You .
how , how can You still love me?
i dont understand , and i never will .
who am i , worthy of Your love .
Lord help me !
i realli need You ...

its raining ...

2006-01-08T17:37:00.000+08:00

yes its raining .
it seems to be raining very often these few days .
and its kinda cold , but i like ! :D

had funn at cca fair yst .
gill came back !
haha (x
and we're such lousy publicizers man .
crap /:

after that went to lime fleamarket with gill , yinggs , ong , grace and moo .
haha we like stood on the pavement trying desperately to flag a cab for ages , 3 ppl under one unbrella leh !
grr after like a million years we finally got cabs .

went to yoshinoya at cine for lunch , and gill lost her wallet !
oh man .
we panicked .
searched everywhere , even trailed strangers can !
LOL .
wad to do? they were the onli clue wad .
but no hope /:
grace went to searched the toilets dustbin , and found a pair of jeans inside !
wahh xiao .
and gill conveniently laughed while in the midst of bad times .
haha gill will ALWAYS be gill .

the market was interesting !
but me and moo had no $$ .
sobs .
oh wells .
OH ! and while gill was looking at this extremely unique and nice one sided earring , the editor plus her cameralady came .
lol they kept wanting to interview us ,
and she said ' come on la , st nick girls can speak manderin one right .'
then we all ran away !
HAHA it was quite hilarious .
ong ran the fastest .
hahaha :P
anw overall it was fun la .
went back early with yinggs and moo ,
and yinggs was like ... 30 mins late for tuition !
haha typical .
gill wants to go agn next 2 weeks ,
but theres guitar sessions in church .
hmm see how la .

sch starts agn tmr .
haii .
you know wad?
im not even half way thru for joy luck club . crap .
how to chiong?
faints .
anw i gtg soon .
gor has been crapping the whole afternoon , my eyes cant take it liao .
LOL .
bye !

cca fair tmr !

2006-01-06T18:49:00.000+08:00

i thank God today is friday .
haha this whole week of school has been FUN ! :D
lol i like 3 wisdom (:
plus GREAT partners like lingjing , andrea , melissa !
anw there's cca fair tmr .
CHOIR CHOIR CHOIR !
-chants continuously .
haha yea man promote choir !
ok i must slp early tonight man .
loveyouguys !

second day of school ...

2006-01-04T18:21:00.000+08:00

yes its the second day of school .
then why does it feel as if its the middle of the year alr?
lol school has this power to make me feel like my youth is being eaten away up fast .
yet ironically , the best years of your life are those schooling days .

sighs .
had a very tough night last night .
got upset , hurt , disappointed , confused , even angry .
it was a misunderstanding , one that we all regret .
we wished it never happened , but yet ...
it did .
im not angry at you , im just feeling weirdly empty right now .
why did it have to happen?
tho i realli cant see now ,
i know its all part of God's plan .
yes , things will never quite be the same .
pray .
thats the best we both can do .
i thank God for putting you into my life ,
and i'll never forget our friendship .
im sorry if wad i wrote hurt you ,
it was wad i realli felt at that time .
lets pretend it never happened ,
and everything will be back to normal .
easy to say , yet its such a challenge .
im trying tho , im trying ,
but i dont know where its going .
follow God's will , thats realli all i can say .

mummy .
why cant you just trust me?
im may not be that BIG ,
but im not that young either .
im not wise ,
but i know im mature enough to handle my problems .
do you know its so frustrating to receive your suspicious glares and cutting words ,
i told you all i could to try and keep you involved and informed ,
all in the hope that you could just for once TRUST ME .
but no , you could not even do that .
must you get so overly paranoid all the time?
cant you just understand that there are some things i CANT explain to you ?
you probably think that as youngsters we dont have anythg to worry abt .
but aww man youre WRONG . so wrong .
things are NOT the way you think , hopefully jie understands .
siblings and 'siblings' have to talk too .
i dont know wad to expect of you now .
or even next time .
just stop reading my sms , or any other things youre doing .
youre making other people worried too .
im seriously beginning to regret telling you all i have .
but i told you because there was NOTHING going on .
but no matter wad i say ,
you still wont believe me .
so i might as while keep silent ,
and let you think wad you wanna think .
i cant be bothered anymore .
you caused my frustration and tears ,
and if you could stop barging in so much ,
you would save me ALOT of worries .
thank you . for misplacing my trust and hope in you .

first day at school ...

2006-01-03T17:57:00.000+08:00

ahh well ...
first day of school is over .
how was it?
hmm it was nice , met friends agn (:
tho it was rather boring sitting in the hall the whole day listening to talks , i tink i better treasure these boring times before school REALLY starts and i go like bonkers over the stress /:

3 wisdom is quite nice la (:
so far . hehh .
tmr is another no lessons day , yipee !
i truly thank God for every blessing He has given me ,
for every friend that has made me smile or laugh :D

and for you ; you know who you are .
i realli dont know what to think of you anymore .
i dont even know whether i shld believe the things you said .
you have shown me a person i have never known was inside you .
i dont know wad to do .
but i do know wadever the outcome ,
things wont quite be the same anymore .
thanks to you .

dreading school ...

2006-01-02T11:53:00.000+08:00

yes im dreading school .
i still haven faced up to reality yet ,
i cant believe sch's strting .
FAINTS .
oh well .
half my hw's not done , and im not ready at all .

this morning i woke up at seven , half of the credit goes to gor who called me and insisted that i stay awake and not flop back down on the bed like a lazy piggy .
i doubt i can wake up at six tmr ,
but its not like i have a choice la .

the early morning is so peaceful , so silent .
the first thought that came to my mind was to spend this wonderfully rare moment with Him .
i put on the music , settled myself comfortably down on the sofa and talked to God in prayer before opening His sacred pages of read His words of wisdom .
half an hour later after that was done , i fell asleep on the sofa again .
lol couldn resist it la .
the air was so cold , the environment so peaceful , the sofa so comfy .
hehh (x

i realli regret not spending the few free days of my holiday meaningfully .
i regret not spending more time with Him , seeking Him very hour every min .
now the time is gone , and i cant turn it back .
school is strting , and i fear to imagine wad my life wld become once agn .
hectic and meaningless .
i cant let that happen , no i cant .
sec 2 has been such a good year ,
filled with God's blessings and comfort .
thats why i dread sec 3 , fearing it wld not be as good .
o wad little faith i have , why cant i just trust in Him ?
yes i should , and i shall .
no worries , no pretence .
i shall commit everything into His wonderful hands , and let Him work wonders in my life .

i know the people He has put tgt with me in my class is no coincidence .
He has a plan , for me and for them .
my single prayer is that i will not backslide .
in wadever i do , i shall seek His kingdom first .
i want to remain His faithful servant , always available for His service whenever He calls for me .
yes i want to be .

the prayer that has constantly been on my lips and in my heart is that God would give me wisdom .
ask me the one thing that i would plead from God and it woud be wisdom .
just as king solomon did , and God answered His prayer .
so how come my 2006 class is 3 wisdom? :D
God works in amazing ways , and when He reveals His plans to you , do not reject Him .
do not say ' later God , im just so busy now cant you see?'
maybe tmr , or many next week , i will do it , i promise .
becos that promise will nvr be fulfilled , and in the end , you'll regret not being a part of His wondrous plan .
for it is such a great honour to be used by Him ,
and the indescribable joy when you see a soul saved ,
knowing that one more soul is pardoned from hell's fire .

i must be disciplined and commited ,
to renew my mind daily and trust in His Word no matter wad happens .
as a christian i am easily tempted by the world , but with His strength i will be made strong .
by His promises i will have faith , and hope of a future no matter how bleak it seems .

wad a long entry i have typed , yet its the onli meaningful one in ages .
i guess reality has just burst my holiday dream .
so there , bye 2005 eoy hols .
welcome , 2006 school days .
and to every bfcyouth out there , i will rmb you in prayer .
we will need much encouragement and support ,
to stay on the right track .
Godblessyou !

lots of love and huggs ; claim them if you think you need them .

sleeping time !

2005-12-31T02:02:00.000+08:00

lol dno why but i just feel like blogging a short one now .
have been bloghopping around !
read a disgusting blog . ugh .
anw im gna slp liao .
GOOD MORNING ! :D

my comp's gone berserk !

2005-12-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

ohh man i tink my stupid comp is nutss man .
it just kips opening and minimizing windows by itself , and highlighting stuff when i give it the SLIGHTEST touch .
xiao right? GRR .
and i cant even chat properly without it deleting my letters .
oh wells . i give up .

there's thanksgiving tmr !
eh or shld i say today?
haha anw im excited !
and i cant wait to see baby megan in the morning !
lol little babies are so adorable ! :D

ps twinni . gill was spouting nonsense k . dont listen to her crap la .

okie i gtg now ! loveyouall ! :D

chiong homework !

2005-12-28T18:26:00.000+08:00

whee ! haha i finished english today .
thank God : D
i dont intend on touching maths , dont ask me why .
just dont feel like doing it . hee (x
must enjoy myself more ! hols ending liao ):

i cant believe school is starting !

2005-12-27T23:37:00.000+08:00

aww man .
cant believe christmas is over .
and soon my hols will be too .
-sobs .
not even HALFWAY thru hw yet !
nvm i shall chiong tmr !
realli enjoyed this hols , so many church programmes , so much fun !
oh why oh why must school strt agn?
-SIGHS .
just wanna do a shout out : i love my life !

ps darren ; im not bhb k . BOX YOU .

counting down to christmas ! :D

2005-12-23T00:27:00.000+08:00

YAY my tagbrd is READY ! TAG people ! :D

went out with gill today to places you wont ever guess . haha guess we're not typical teenagers who ALWAYS visit orchard , we're special and fun !
lol , realli had a SUPER great time : D
thanks alot gilly the billy , i will miss you so much next year .
-SOBS .

yay CHRISTMAS IS COMING !
haha i realli cant wait !
i just LOVE CHRISTMAS ! :D
Godblessyou ! -HUGGS .

I REALLY LOVE THIS SONG ! :D

2005-12-20T01:26:00.000+08:00

MY LORD , I ASK FROM THEE

i do not ask for riches nor for fame throughout this land
i seek not earthly pleasures for through time they will not stand
but i'd like to ask for an obedience to Thy Word
through my every thought and action , i shall seek Thy kingdom first

my Lord , i ask from Thee , a faithful heart that's willing
to forsake every comfort this world could ever bring
a heart bent in submission , to love Thee with conviction
and the only riches i'll seek , are the treasures that are found in Thee

Lord , grant me strength with great resolve , i'll strive for what's ahead
to serve Thee with a servant's heart no matter what it takes
turn my heart away from the temptations that i'll face
draw me near to Thee for in Thy presence i will gladly stay

chorus

i love this song so much
and i truly thank God for david ong's talent .
God is utterly amazing
He works in ways you can never expect .
when you think there is no hope
He give you a beacon of light .
i thank Him for each and every hand that was raised on fri and sat night ,
it was unexpected
yet a true glimpse of His truth and love .
when the way seems hard and bleak
focus your eyes on Him .
keep praying and trusting
and He will lead you to the perfect path which He planned for you
right from the very beginning .

i admit , im afraid of going back to school .
i dont know wad i will face
the people whom i will meet
the amount of work that will eventually drive me crazy
then i wont have time for Him anymore
i will slowly being to drift away
I HATE THAT !
you have no idea how empty your life is without Him
it seems meaningless and pointless
and suddenly you dont feel like living anymore
but then you turn your eyes toward Jesus
and look heavenwards
its the only hope that you can put your faith in
dont seek for worldly things that do not last
trust in Him onli , and Him alone
only He can give you true happiness , peace and joy
then you will be able to give to others the love He gave to you
not by your own strength , but by His might
for what am i , a child of dust , that He should love me so
think of His bleeding body on the cross
you didnt deserve that
but you were offered His gift all the same
im so glad im a child of God
will you be one too?

christmas is so commercialised ,
do you even know what it truly means?
it is the birth of Jesus Christ
and His Gift which can set you free .

there's this phrase which has been in my head constantly :

DONT SPEND YOUR LIFE ON THINGS THAT DONT MEAN A THING .

i wont do that , no i wont .

CHRISTMAS CANTATA !

2005-12-16T12:58:00.000+08:00

oh man im so super excited i cant wait for tonight ! cant wait to see all my friends , cant wait for souls to be convicted , cant wait for the Spirit to work in every single one of us ! i realli pray God will use this bfcproduction to glorify Him . everythg we do is for Him and Him along . LordiloveYou .

youth camp tmr ! :D

2005-12-04T17:36:00.000+08:00

yay ! im back yet agn ! (:
youth camp starts tmr , my things are nearly packed finish !
quite disappointing no one can come ):
but nvm , i believe God has His own will and time for everything and everyone .
trust in Him

im very excited for the upcoming christmas cantata after camp !
invited lots of people , hope everyone will be able to make it ! :D
hmm i tink many helpers are still feeling unwell after children's camp , realli hope they will get better !

just sorta browsed through all my blog entries throughout the year , and realised once again how much God has blessed me .
all the wonderful friends i have ,
the exciting events that i went through ,
the tiring and stressful periods that i endured ,
all these would have meant nothing if not for Him .
i promised Him last year that i would give all my time to Him,
yet i failed miserably ):
i truly hope and pray that this youth camp would once again and as always bring my heart back to God , to focus on His dear face .
and that everything i do would be for Him and Him alone .
iloveGod !

children's camp 2005 :D

2005-12-03T09:38:00.000+08:00

hello everyone ! :D
haha im finally updating after almost half a year .
hey dont blame me , the internet WAS getting boring .
anw, children's camp was just over !
haha i had a wonderful time actually .
got closer with God and learned how to interact with kids better (:
i realli thank God for little children :D
actually on the first day of camp i felt kinda useless cuz i couldnt control a few kids , but i learnt to trust in God and try my best to show love to them .
things got a lot better after that (:
fell sick on thurs , had sore throat , neck ache , head ache , fever .
got quite frustrated and irritated cuz i took panadols , strepsils , prayed to God , yet didnt get much better .
but everything turned out fine after all .
trust in God :D
had a good time on thurs night , or should i say friday morning . haha .
we sat and sang songs , hope we didnt wake anyone :D

i love HUMBLE HIPPOS ! :D
tho we didnt win , i tink we did realli well overall !
i thank God for fellow helpers : elaine , auntie pei chien aka rachel , alodie , yi xuan aka the most irritating guy who can make you explode the fastest time !
haha but realli , i did have a great time . and i thank God so much for that :D
hope the kids bring back the things they learnt in camp with them back home .
and i pray the many souls will be saved and brought back to God during youth camp .
Amen .

DELIGHT YOURSELF ALSO IN THE LORD , AND HE SHALL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART .
psalms 37 : 4

hols ending ):

2005-06-20T10:43:00.000+08:00

HELLO.
aww man the hols are ending.
sad.
-sobs.
oh well, at least the break was QUITE refreshing (:
back to school in one week.
the same classroom
the same teachers
the same naptime in-betweens
the only good thing abt school is friends
hee (x
think i didnt realli make good use of this hols.
aww well nvm la
its supposed to be a HOLIDAY excuse me
what's with all the hw?
haha but im done :D
sort of.
there's choir today.
blur me thought it was last mon.
shant reveal my maluating story
hmm why do i have weird feelings?
my stomach's churning.
-wonders.
gonna bathe now.
sorry for the constant disupdating.
iloveyouall.
:D

:D

2005-06-12T19:31:00.000+08:00

HELLO ! :D
haha oh man im back.
thought i was dead eh? -grins.
its been one month !
aww i missed blogging (:

hmm lotsa events have passed alr.
china trip, youth evangilistic mtg, shopping !
haha china was nice.
made very nice friends there
i miss them ....
but im realli grateful for singapore's toilets man
hehhs (:
the scenery of huangshan is magnificient !
haha i just love nature.
shanghai : relax life + shopping !
not tt we cld buy much cos they just didnt give us enough time.
overall : enjoyable :D

haha i really enjoyed the youth evangilistic mtg (:
bro. barry webb and his family are realli talented.
thank God for the many souls saved (:
seriously.

i went shopping yst ! :D
ok im like TOTALLY broke liao la
i mean, not that i wasnt before that
but now is worse
cos i have like this super huge debt to repay
ok its super huge to me la
i can onli get the money next year
when i receive my ang pao money
heh heh (;
but i like the things i bought !
whee ! :D

ok im like so dead
i haven even touched my hw at all
and when i finally came online to print it
i cant even open it ! -groans.
oh man.
gotta find somebody to help me.
and there's science coursework !
-DOUBLEMOANS.
why do they have to torture us even in the hols ?!
ok i know its no point groaning.
oh wells /:

gtg now.
bye !

ahh !

2005-05-15T19:48:00.000+08:00

ahh i miss blogging.
haven been updating for a very long time.
grr but i haven got time now
sch is ending
yet there's so much to do !
-scrreams.
nvm at least im realli looking forward to the hols.
YIPEE ! :D
haha ok i gtg.
dinner's waiting (:

today's sunday agn ! (:

2005-05-08T17:54:00.000+08:00

ahh im feeling happy today :)
i think its becos i strt the day off right
with God :D
and it realli rocks to stay happy
you just wanna smile no matter what

oh man im chao in a holiday mood now
just feel like relaxing
dont wanna work.
hmm kinda dreading debate on tues
still rmb the super bad experience
but nvm i shall improve :)

today's mother's day.
gave my mum a nice present
haha :)
she likes it.
had buffet in church.
nice food. mmm.

june hols seem so near yet so far.
oh man i realli cant wait for it to come
esp for china trip. -squeals !
haha im lame fine.

last fri was a REAL tiring day.
first had 2.4 , den chinese test, den 5 items.
woah can die lor
but i survived (:
realli thank God for pulling me thru my run.
chao tiring, but end up wif a good timing :D
for a non-sports girl like me la
haha better than i wanted
so happy (:
realli thank God man
i was like praying so hard
God hears and answers
yea He realli does :D
but oh man my thighs and calfs are like aching now
and so is my back and butt
haha
full body ache. lol (:

chin test was ok/rather bad.
but nvm
i'll be fine if i can pass.
i dont know why this year im taking results so seriously
and getting stressed so easily
hmm i must always rmb tt life is more than studies
and why im actually on earth :D

it doesnt matter where i sit
it doesnt matter how smart i am
it doesnt matter whether you like me
it doesnt matter if i win or lose
uhhuh it doesnt matter at all
cos i have Him.

i love friends so much
90% of my smiles is bcos of dem
which is you :)

one saturday gone ..

2005-04-30T19:38:00.000+08:00

saturday.
i went jogging in the morning.
cant stand myself for being so slow
and my legs got tired like so easily?
GRR.

then went shopping at jurong point with elaine (lai)
did sone REAL shopping
spent alot of time there
plus way too much money
but aint my fault
SOME ppl's b'daes are comin
*coughcough*
mm i just love elaine man
she's such a great fren
haha kip laughing for everything and making me laugh too :D

aww man i feel like such a slacker
i havent done any real work at all
i better start tonight
or i wont let myself off
dont ask me why
i give myself plenty of stress :/

ok im gna eat dinner now
not tt im exactly hungry tho
man im growing in size
which is not a good thing
cos its breadth than length
sighs.

byebye.

elainee !

2005-04-28T23:19:00.000+08:00

oh man i cant stand it.
i simply have to post wad elaine said.
did i tell you she calls my tiny ponytail chicken backside?
yupp i did.
here's wad she said on msn:

haha that time got one bird wanted to walk into our class
very attracted to your chicken backside
but it walked out after seeing your face
hahaha xD

oh man i tell you i just laughed when i read it lor !
ok its chao funny even tho its not at all to my benefit.
i just love elainee so much :D

tmr sports day ! :D

2005-04-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

aww man finally a lil' break from sch.
cos tmr's sports day ! :D
haha im quite happy la.
no lessons ma.
can go out and somemore later get tan !
ok fine maybe i cant exactly get tanned,
but once in a while get sunburnt aso not bad la (:
heh.

hmm the week has been long yet short.
dont realli know how to decribe la
tuesday was one of the worst day
cos i realli realli messed up at debate.
but oh well
no use crying over spilt milk.
i'll just improve at the next one.
i was simply so NOT prepared can.

hmm i tied my hair up from monday and throughout the whole week.
grr ppl kip making such a bigg fuss !
haha but i dont realli mind.
im nice (:
shld i cut it shld i not?
i dont know ! hmph.
elaine kept calling it 'chicken backside'.
ayeee it does not look like lor !
haha but the name's real funny la (:
and cherie chong kept wanting to cut it for me?
no thanks man !
you not pro la. -grins.
haha :)

i want a break from school !
even tho i dont realli think i need it?
aww fine.
im lazy la. hehe.
chatted wif audrey lai and TWINNI ! :D
lol these 2 ppl are funny k.
i dont care by hook or by crook i'll find lai's ______ concert !
lol im so nice.
left tt blank there (:

ok twinni is chao lame but she nvr fails to make me smile and laugh lor !
3 yrs ago until now.
unchangeble :D
we created stories wif msn pics kk.
haha im definitely proer than her
cos her story doesnt make much sense :)

im rather high and happy today !
except for the fact tt im growing fat.
aww man.
i wna jog tmr !
besides napfa's comin.
i wna beat my timing ! (:

choir today was ok la.
learnt a new song 'yesterday'
the tune's chao weird la
and i had sore throat so cant exactly sing well
besides im not in a singing mood leh
voice seems to have died after syf.
haha ok ya chao proud of sn performing arts la
we have 7 GOLDS !
yay sn rocks man ! :D

im going off now.
oh and did i mention yet?
i simply love my tagbrd :D

hello ...

2005-04-27T17:34:00.000+08:00

aww i feel kinda bored and wu liao
so im here to blog.
i got sore throat now. ouch.
i hope it goes away before friday.

today's not a running day
so i dont think ill be jogging later.
dont feel much so i wont say much
except that i realli love my tagbrd :D
it always cheer me up .

im feeling neutral...

2005-04-22T22:17:00.000+08:00

i dont realli feel like blogging much.
but i tink i will la.

had sec 1 oreintation on thurs.
all water games.
hmm honestly wasnt much fun la
but i had quite a good time
esp the last part where you can bomb anyone you want.
i got mostly bombarded by peach and iced aka cinch and al.
lol theyre so cute.
the tea family rocks man.

there was lit test today.
i hope i do well.

hmm im getting so so interested in history.
esp world war 2.
perhaps im going mad.

oh man ive been practically skipping all house cheer pracs.
feeling a teeny weeny bit guilty.
oh well maybe i better start attending
or i wont know the hs cheer.
oops.

im looking forward to tmr.
haha i seem to be in a happy mood this whole week.
but sometimes i feel rather fake.
oh man.
tts irritating lor.
i wanna be real.

im so proud of sn.
6 golds so far : choir, chinese dance, modern dance, band, co, eldds
haha we rock man :)

casino casino casino.
is tt all singapore ever talks about now?
whoever supports it
i dont support you.
its not the right path.
we shouldnt take it.

compassionate
kind
caring and concerned
loving
humble
generous
i realli want to be all these.
just like Jesus.
but its so hard
sometimes i dont even know what im doing
i just walk the path that i feel obligated to take
because i know somehow
somewhere in the future
it'll glorify Him
but amidst the journey
im afraid of getting lost
i often do
that's why i need His guidance so much
im clinging onto people
for help for joy for smiles
but i dont wanna be this way
its not supposed to be this way
what should i do?
find myself
yes, find myself in Him.
its the onli hope that i have
the onli one i can trust.
iloveyouLord..

sunday ...

2005-04-17T17:59:00.000+08:00

hello im back ! (:
haha haven blogged for 5 days man.
ok im kinda in a gd mood today.
i find myself irritating sometimes.
why am i so high one day
and so low the next?
grr.
i wna stay high forever.
but i wont take drugs la
DUH.

i have successfully saved 10 bucks over the week.
haha so proud of myself.
but the sad fact is
ive gotta continue saving for the rest of my life
until abt end of may.
miserable eh?
hey i can do it k.

just now when i read all my tags i smiled.
literally k.
its at times like this when i realise
actually how fortunate i am
and i realli thank God
for everyone around me
because im not that unloved
as i thought i was.
people out there care
and i know it.

thanks yingqi moo althea audrey yixiang elaine apple twinni !
you guys rock.
you brighten up my life :D

today sunday sch's teaching was abt demons.
and so will be the following week.
im rather interested actually
but i must be careful not to be TOO interested.
yea.
there's gna be youth evangilistic mtg on june 6 7 8.
i got a special person in mind to invite :)

i haven been praying or reading the bible often now.
i must do it.
i realli must.
give me motivation pls.

going jogging soon.
haha looking forward man :)
i wna improve my timing.
napfa's coming.

you wont understand how much i love Him
you wont understand what i feel when im with Him
you wont understand how much He sacrificed for me
so you wont understand why my life is His
you wont understand why i fear Him
you wont understand why i stand up for Him
you wont understand our relationship
and you wont understand why if i dont have Him
i dont have anything
for He is my God Lord Father Friend Teacher Counsellor
Everything in One.
and i realli love Him.

im pissed

2005-04-12T17:43:00.000+08:00

ok. i dont know what's wrong with me agn.
today at school i didnt smile much.
well, at least its better than yst.
i hate times like this
when i cant control how i feel.
but the worst thing is i dont even feel anything.
GREAT.
its when you dont feel sad nor happy
but somehow you just cant smile
no matter how you try.
and i mean smile on the inside k.

today im like chao unlucky
got locked out of the house for half an hour
oh well its kinda my fault
so i dont blame anybody.

but im so irritatable now.
i can just snap anytime, anywhere.
so ou beware.

and im pissed la.
i needed to use the comp like urgently
to do all my school work.
and my sis also needed to use
cos of her project.
it seemed urgent.
so nice me let her use first
and i settled with the labtop
which im not very fond of'.

i kip reminding her
to let me switch back
to the old comp when she's done.
but guess what?
i kip hearing noises of comp games,
and once i even saw a glimpse of her happily playing them.
oh man.
i felt like scolding her so much
but sorry hor
im so not in a good mood today.
im afraid once i open my mouth
i cant take the words back.
so i just ren3 xia4 qu4.
sighs.

today's another failed schedule.
i dont know what to do anymore.
my life is so routine:
wake up, go school, study, choir/third lang, come home study, sleep.
and my day starts all over again.
as if its copy and paste
day by day.
suddenly i dont know what im doing in my life now
what am i studying so hard?
even when i try
i still fail.
i feel like an emotionless robot
so man.
what's the point?
i ask myself.
yea, what's the point.

argh. slacking...

2005-04-09T21:31:00.000+08:00

aww.
cant believe my most impt day of the wkend is almost over.
sat. tmr's sunday.
sighs.
i haven even touched my hw yet.
wad have i been doing?!
-screams.

today's schedule :
went for jog in e morning.
studied science for almost 3 hrs?
ate lunch and watched dvds.
read library book.
now online.

aww. forget it.
i'll just try and rush tmr.

i feel realli bad now.
cos for the past few days
ive not been realli fu2 qi4
tt snchoir onli got a gold.
but i realised tt perhaps
tt's realli wad we deserved after all,
judging from the way we sang on stage.
im real sorry for putting down
other schs tt got honours.
it wasnt on purpose,
just felt rather regretful.
i wont think tt way agn,
i promise.
i'll be happy and congratulate
every sch tt got honours.
they probably realli deserved them.
im sorry.

tmr's gna be a busy day man.
why do i always have to leave things till the last min?
grr. feel like boxing myself.

i must be disciplined.
i must not be a slacker.
i must work hard.
ok can someone please brainwash me?
i need it.

WE GOT A GOLD ! :D

2005-04-07T13:04:00.000+08:00

GOLD !

yes. we got a gold.
i want to say im realli happy.
but yet i cant.
we wanted gold with honours.
you might say we are very bu4 zhi1 liang4 li.
but we cant deny the fact
we were aiming for a gold with honours.
its alright tho.
we did our best.
snchoir is a gold choir.

yst's prac:
went to school at 9.45
visited class :)
haha so funn.
rehearsed walking up and down stage
went to drama studio to do warm ups
den make up time !
haha we changed into our ever-cina costume
and put on makeup by ourselves
argh i got felt frustrated yet wanted to laugh
cos my weird face is irritating
had to try on so many blushes
before one cld suit my face
den kip cleaning and cleaning off
and eyeshadow !
grr i looked like i got a big box on my eye
lol it wld have been realli funny
except for the fact that we were rushing for time
so i cleaned it off
haha den chui came and save the day
she's chao pro k
brought a gigantic set of makeup
complete with a collection of brushes
haha so she helped me put on eyeshadow
looked nice :)
then ms lim came and we sang
later she asked us to take a nap !
haha i didnt
wondered who on earth cld take a nap
at such an exciting time
finally at abt 2 plus
we proceeded to SCH
we werent nervous
or at least i wasnt
i had a strong mindset
that we were going in to get a gold with honours
so there was no reason to get nervous
but we were definitely restless and fidgeting
who woundnt be?
sent around many huggs :)
its touching
snchoir is so bonded and united
we want that gwh title so much :D

in SCH :
when we walked on stage
i felt confident
i tink most people did
'sunset' was gd
we were relaxed
yet alert
den came 'fanfare 6'
we did...
not so good.
our very first chord was alr sharp
oh wells.
moo said she saw a glimpse of many people covering their ears
:/ evill.
we sang our jap song last
i tink it was good
cos we felt realli good and comfortable
with ms lim's conducting :)
we went out all excited and chattering
some happy, some worrying
abt how we did
ms lim called us hooligans
cos we realli acted like them
lol :)
she said we sounded good on stage
but she also added -
" if anything were to go wrong, it would be your fanfare".
she said it 4 times
so we knew exactly
what she meant.

took the bus back to sch
cos mrs ong wldnt let us stay for the results :(
left grace and bernice there
the reporters for our news.
we talked abt all the chocolates
ice-creams and fried food we wld stuff ourselves with
haha so funn :)

at sch after changing and erasing traces of makeup
the whole choir sat in one bigg fatt circle
to anticipate the 'news'
so nice and touching eh?
haha told ya choir is bonded :D
i felt very scared
cos before tt some news passed arnd
saying tt maybe we wont even get a gold
quoted by ms lim's conductor friends.
i felt like a bomb just dropped on my life
we had to get at least a gold !
then bernice and grace called
they were announcing the results of choir 71
we are choir 79
the whole time seemed like eternity
we squeezed each other's hands so tightly
i didnt know what to think
den when the news finally came
siyun shouted out "choir we got a GOLD ! "
oh man i tell you i just practically screamed and blasted my lungs out
i cldnt help it
screamed and screamed and yelled !
the whole choir did
so the entire drama studio was just deafening
if you didnt scream along
you wld probably go deaf.
but deep inside
i knew what we wanted
a gold with honours.
i cloudnt cry
yet i cloudnt laugh
i could only scream.
tears poured out though
from quite a few.
you might say we're mad
but from here you can see
truly how impt that gold with honours was to us.

we dismissed.
celebration :)
haha went on a calling craze.
friends kept asking "how did you do?"
so i just kept calling to tell the news
whe i told tan we wanted a gwh
she was like "aiyo, gold can alr la"
haha cute tann :)

now i think back
way way back
from the time ms lim gave us fanfare to sing
how we were simply so lousy
sing stop laugh sing stop laugh
cos we lost our note
couldnt find the chord
den she gave us our 1st jap song
it was too big a challenge
so she changed it
after singing for abt a mth
going through scoldings from her
disappointments and struggles
she changed the song agn
to a simpler jap song
many were sad
but soon we learned to love the new song
it was simply too nice.
learned sunset too.
we thought it was quite a breeze
but found out many small tricky mistakes we could make
if we were not careful.
i rmbed all the times ms lim was happy and pleased with us
smiling and always telling us true stories to make us laugh
saying little things to spur us on
making us enjoy our choir sessions so much.
and other times when she's not
when she's feeling frustrated
angry, disappointed, hurt
we feel it too.
all the scoldings we endured
because we deserved them
and i rmb specially the day when she said
that she felt very hurt
because we treated ourselves like her second priority choir
we down-graded ourselves
because we felt we were not that impt
compared to her other choirs
like nanyang, tkgs, anderson, fmss
and many more.
she told us right in the face
that its that thought that makes her hurt
because she has never ever once
thought of felt that way before
whatever she gave to them
she gave to us
we had even more
because she felt we needed it
her words just stabbed me
i believe the whole choir felt it too
we felt so so guilty
we never wanted her to feel hurt again
so from that day on we never had that thought of felt that way agn.
we counted ourselves as a true choir of hers
because we were.
and there was the time
when she kept wanting to audit us
saying that she would onli take in 50 ppl for syf
because we simply couldnt make it.
everyone was just afraid they wont be able to enter syf.
who woundnt be?
but in the end she took all of us
even when the sec 2s were real lousy
because she knew we had the potential
plus the fact that she's actually very soft-hearted :)
hours turned into days
which turned into weeks
turning into months
then finally the day came.
all that we went through in the past months
depended on just one day.
it came and went.
just like that.

suddenly i feel that i didnt truly understand the meaning of achieving that gold
its not an award
and its more than a competetion
its how far we came from beyond
how much we went through for it
how much we improved ourselves
and how much more bonded we became
all because of that one GOLD.
its not small
yet its not that big
its a GOLD.

today morning when i woke up
i felt very empty inside
like something big was missing from my life
and i realised
that it was actually the training
pushing and working towards that gold
that had taken up most of my time.
yet now its over.

i didnt know what to feel
what to think
what to say.
so i prayed
i prayed and prayed.
and all of a sudden
i didnt feel that empty anymore.
God resumed His place inside my heart.
because of that gold
i had unknowingly pushed Him aside
but now He's back again.
praise the Lord.

ok. im finally done blogging.
i tink i can publish this into a book man.
its the longest ive ever blogged :)
oh wells.
i dont regret.
bye people.
and dont forget -

snchoir is a GOLD choir:D

SYF ! :D

2005-04-05T20:42:00.000+08:00

ahh ! i cant wait mann !
exactly 19 more hrs till syf !
haha im gna pull my hair out man !
so chao excited !
haha we got high expectations for ourselves
but lets just hope we dont get disappointed.

this syf means alot to many people
esp someone who always took care of us
and made sure we dont fall
too badly below standard
someone who always tried her very best
to make it for our sessions
not only because its her job
but because she really cares
even when she was so sick
sore throat, voiceless, cough, flu
everything irritating illness you can tink of
yet she never failed in coming faithfully
we're impt to her
that's why this syf is so impt to us
not only we wna get a 'gold-with honours' for ourselves
its also for this special person
mslimaihooi
is very special indeed
snchoir loves her very very much.

no lessons tmr ! -squeals happily.
haha im lame.
i cant do any work tonight
im far too excited
that's why im here.

oh well.
i'd better turn in early later.
to preserve all the energy i can
for tmr's special day ! :)
we've worked so hard
we've come so far
for only abt 8 mins on stage
so we're gna make the best out of it
give it our all
and be able to walk off stage proudly
knowing that we've done all we could
no matter what
snchoir will always have a special place in my heart :D

ahh ! 2 more days !

2005-04-04T23:11:00.000+08:00

haha today is mon.
just in case you didnt know.
and in 2 days... there's SYF !
ahh ! -yells and screams out loud.
haha everytime i tink abt it i get excited .
we re realli eager to get that 'gold'.
i hope.

fuhua sang today.
the first of the first.
hoho rather suay eh?
but i'd say they did quite well la.
at least they maintained their standard :)

eunice saw ms lim conduct fmss.
she was super impressed?
haha said ms lim was super super powerful.
lol im so proud to have a conductor like her.
she rocks man :)

i realise that everytime i set schedules for myself
im never able to follow them thru
like tonight.
i was supposed to finish my work at 10 plus.
im not done yet.
so wat am i doing here online
when its alr 11.25?
ok im a slacker.
its hard to quit when youre it.

there's choir tmr.
but we wont realli be singing much i guess.
must preserve our voices.
im so glad we onli have 1 hr of lesson
on wed.
we definitely need the extra rest man.

ok enough blogging.
serene here needs her rest for the night.
even though she often takes naps
in third lang classes.
because the teacher doesnt scold.
haha im mean.

ok im off to slp.
if not tmr i cant wake up agn
and younger sis will not be very happy
cos she always needs to reach sch early.
byebye ppl. gdnite.

another weekend over...

2005-04-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

ok. the weekend's over agn.
sighs time just passes so fast.

hmm i didnt go for youth mtg on sat
neither did i go for service on sun.
paid a visit to evetor's church with nat.
it was ...different.
oh well.
i dont know wat to say.
i'll just cling onto the Truth.

i seemed to have spent my weekend meaningfully
tho' i dont know why.
arms and legs kinda aching
cos i went for a run just now.
feels realli good (:

sch's stressful now.
assignments just keep piling up.
due all almost arnd the same week.
can faint ah.

ok. onli left 3 more days.
SYF !!! :D
haha i get excited when i tink of it.
i hope we get a half-day
we'll need the extra rest.

i wanna ask God to bring me thru the next week.
i'll need Him so much.
thankyou Lord for always being there.

hey darren :
what's your blog?
cant reply your tags !

hmm ok. that's abt it.
its 11.45 so i better go to slp.
byebye.

something for someone

2005-04-01T16:19:00.000+08:00

i dont know how i feel
and why you feel the way you do
but its quite true actually
though i dont know how to put it down in words
i dont know what came along
how it became like this
or maybe it never once was
the way we thought it shld be
let it be a little simpler
a little lighter
maybe things will get better
i realli hope it will
well i realli dont know what to say
just that i hope you'll be alrite
perhaps we shld talk
but i know its kinda blank
no true content?
will it be awkward?
i dont wanna think so much
let things be what they should be
but one more thing i wanna say to you
is that i realli dont expect everything i do and say
be able to cheer you up
all that was done
just to let you know i care
because i realli do
and maybe
just maybe
it would bring a little smile to your face
a little hope to your life
a little light to your eyes
ive always had faith in miracles
you told me to be true to myself
and i know who i truly am
and now i ask of you
to find yourself the way i found me
theres someone in you
who is not wearing a mask
i know there is
i may or may not have seen it
but i doesnt matter
because i know one day
you'll find it
and show it to me
one day you'll be all smiles
and you wont feel fake
no longer
im sorry for what went wrong
i dont realli know
but i care
and i know you do
so after all these
i still wanna say that
iloveyou.

finally...the weekends

2005-04-01T15:56:00.000+08:00

oh its finally the weekends.
great.

do i sound sacarstic?
oh well.
im not. realli.
i just love the weekends.
its just that there is too much stuff to do.
so many deadlines.
plus responsibilities.
of shld they be called obligations?
i dont know.
you tell me.

5 more days. 5 MORE DAYS !!!
oh mans.
more than 1 yr of hard work
just to get 8 mins on stage.
we'll make the best out of it.
we'll give it all we cann.
snchoirrocks.
so no matter what happens,
we 'll be alright.
just as long as we're together.

gna go grandma's b'day celebration later.
its held somewhere in ....
ok i dno.
nvm.
i dont feel like going.
but how can i not?
so rude.
and maybe i need it la.
i mean a break.
from everything.

i thank God for bringing me thru
without Him i cldn possible survive
and remain myself as i m now.
im truly thankful and grateful
because He's the only one who remains
who cares and comforts
when my world falls.
i'll never give up
He didnt give up on me.
He'll always be there
and i realli love my Lord.

easter ! :D

2005-03-27T23:11:00.000+08:00

haha today's easter sunday !
Jesus rose on the cross ! :)
my Saviour, my Lord.

hehe i kip having mood swings nowadays.
perhaps sch can cheer me up :)
cos i just love so many special people who light up my life

hoho im realli in a holiday mood now.
dont wna work,
just wna slack and relax.
sighs im getting lazier everyday.
how? :(

went swimming tonight
so now im realli rushing work.
im too lousy for words.

i just kip havin mixed feelings abt everything.
i dont know what i realli feel and think.
i want to spend time with my Lord
so im looking forward to reading His Word later.
i better not fall asleep man.

ilovechoir

2005-03-24T20:47:00.000+08:00

finally. a break from the week.

had choir audits today.
sec 2s were the worst.
we barely got thru halfway of e 1st page
and we got kicked out.
but in the end we sort of passed
cos she gave us another chance :)
we have to buck up. seriously.

each sec4 took one sec2.
i got chuwen :)
haha she's so nice.
blur mee often lose my note.
cant hold my breath too.
Grr. I MUST WORK HARD.
i hope.

13 more days !
choir rocks my world .

tmr's good friday.
rmb the true meaning of it.
not simply just a public holiday.
the day :

Someone died for all of us
Someone bore the pain on the cross
Someone with thorns pierced thru His head
Someone whose body got beaten and bruised
with blood gushing from everywhere

the pain that He suffered
i will never understand
nor the reason He could love us so much
im saved by His blood
i can have eternal life
not here but in heaven
dont you want that too?
find life in my Lord
He's the only Way.
the Truth and the Light.

i love school

2005-03-23T22:18:00.000+08:00

i thank God so much for friends and seniors
i dont know how i will ever last thru school
without the many special people
who mean so much to me
just because they care

good friday's comin.
it means alot.

i love my senior althea quek `iced.
she touched my life
and made me smile
she cares in a way
i dont know how to say
she's so nice and sweet
now dont you be jealous
she's mine :)

:)

2005-03-20T18:50:00.000+08:00

hmm.
i feel a lot better now.
thanks everyone who cared.

sometimes i feel realli tired.
i dont want to stay on anymore.
its realli hard to put on a smile everyday
when sometime its not what you feel inside.

often i just long for heaven.
but i know i cant go there now.
my work on earth is not done.
and i dont want to be useless.

when one day i meet Him
i realli want to hear Him say
'well done, thy good and faithful servant.'

sch's strting tmr.
i dont even know whether i dread or look forward to it.
i must pull myself together.
yes, i must.

IM FRUSTATED !!!

2005-03-19T12:41:00.000+08:00

IM FEELING SO FRUSTRATED.

she's behaving like a jerk.
she was the one who first asked me.
i didnt reject her or say anything mean.
and now she kips acting as if i need her so much.

i cant stand it. GRR !
im angry at myself.
i dont noe wad to do anymore.

i feel so far from God.
i tot during this March hols i cld draw nearer to Him.
instead i drew further.

i dont noe y im depending on others
for my joy and happiness instead of Him.
its so FRUSTRATING.
i have lost the fire, the passion
that i had after Youth Camp 04'

i wasnt afraid or ashamed.
i just wanted to go forth and do His work.
bt now everythg has changed.
im strtin to behave e way tt i did last yr.

im strtin to care more abt image and reputation.
im becomin so selfish agn.
why why?
why am i becomin someone tt im not?

i cant find the rite path anymore !
even when i find e steps,
i dont noe whether they're e rite ones.

everytime music plays,
i feel as if im lost in God's love.
i feel at peace and joy.
but now i noe all these are false.
fake.

nothing seems rite anymore.
when i search for the ultimate joy & passion
i just cant seem to find it.
i have lost my sight.

and i dont noe the way to return.
someone, pls help me !

YIPEE ! :D

2005-03-18T16:53:00.000+08:00

ahh ! yay ! :D
haha ive finally got a new temp !
hmm got many things to clear up.
links... tags nt updated.
cant do it nowe tho.
parents gna explode.
i'll come back another day !
tagg my brd k ! :)
loveyouall.

my God is more than enough !

2005-03-12T21:32:00.000+08:00

ok. i haven bloggeed for a longlong time.
went to FMSS for choir. we were bad. sososo bad. ms lim wants to audit us personally (one by one?) and she will onli pick 50 for syf.
50. tt's it. just 50. i dont wna lose hope, bt im nt very optimistic.
i realli hope everyone will qualify, sumhow.

snchoir realli realli rocks and i love almost everyone who belongs in there. we must get tt GOLD. we CANN get it ! we must have fighting spirit and mental strength, we mustn disappoint so many ppl hu have dared to hope in us. esp ms lim. we'll prove to everyone, and also to ourselves tt we can achieve it. no matter wad, we will nvr give up !

there was youth mtg today and moo came along ! :D
haha she was realli tired, dozing off durin e msg ! LoL my moo's so cutee.
bt later went to braddell heights cc to play ball.
perspire until my whole entire back was soaked ! even my shoulders !
LoL, im a walking sweat fountain.
moo is so chao gd in ball ! haha so proud of her ! :)
sn girls rock ! whee !
walked arnd at serangoon central under super hot and sweaty and humid body conditions. lol.
ilovemymoosomuch. she made my day ! :D

ok everyone got back ppr on fri. i dont noe whether im satisfied in mine /: bt i noe im DEFINITELY nt satisfied in my chin. its e first ever D i got in my entire life for a test. -groans.

im happi hols are here. bt cum to tink of it, there's nt much of a hol after all. i dont have a single day free? and nt to mention e hw tt just piles up along :( sumtimes a student's life is just so hectic.

ok my super cutee DOTTIE DWARF just kept making me laugh and smile wif her convo. here's a small extract :
∴M O R S M O D E∴ w o n t b e b a c k t i l l d a w n t o h i d e . MYNIGHTMAREHAUNTSMEANDSHEWONTLETMEGO says:
ring ring
; my God is more than enough ! ilovemymoosomuch ! cheer up dottie ! mummy loves you ! [[ *my life is His !~ ]] (: says:
LoL. answers fone !
∴M O R S M O D E∴ w o n t b e b a c k t i l l d a w n t o h i d e . MYNIGHTMAREHAUNTSMEANDSHEWONTLETMEGO says:
hello mummy. i'm dottie dwarf.
HAHA ! :D i still tink its super funny. ok maybe u dont get it and tink im kinda nuttss from today's heat.
bt seriously, if u imagine dottie's fake squeaky voice saying tt, u can laugh out loud.
i almost did.
haha i love my dottie dwarf so much.

i thank God sososo much for bringing me thru the wk. it was tough, bt i came thru. i am sososo thankful for all the great frens i have. frens who make me smile, laugh, scream, squeal, frown. they are the reason i sumtimes look forward to going sch. i nvr did last yr. i want to be His humble servant, waiting at His every command. i want to be available for Him. without Him, i am truly nothing. i dont want to drift apart, i want to draw near to Him once agn ! why am i so easily tempted? i want time for myself, time to relax, time to slp, time to watch tv, time to hang out wif frens, time to cum on net. bt i have forgotten tt every single sec of all the time tt i have belongs to Him. i made a promise tt He wld be my first priority. i failed. bt He forgave. tt's one abt God, He always always always forgives. and He will always welcome us back into His arms anytime. i am longing for tt joy, tt peace, tt love i felt in last yr's youth camp. when i had nothing, i actually had everything. because i had Him. He is everything i need, and i realli want Him to be everything tt i have. i must seek Him, not just conveniently go to Him when i have time. any sacrifice i make will nvr be enough to repay wad He sacrificed for me. ilovemyLord. no one shall insult Him. He is my God, the onli God.

i have sumthg from the bible to share, it touched my heart.
Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying:
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;
Before you were born I santified you;
I ordained you a prophet to the nations."

Then said I:
"Ah, Lord God !
Behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth."

But the Lord said to me:
"Do not say, 'I am a youth.'
For you shall go to all whom i send you,
And whatever i command you, you shall speak.
Do not be afraid of their faces.
For I am with you to deliver you." says the Lord.
Jeremiah 1:4-8

wow dis is a realli long blogg. hmm i wna change my temp. its been so long liao. cant find the time. maybe in the hols (:
later gna have midnight talk wif my mei. i miss her alot.
im realli gna miss my cmpb sososo much too.
oh wells. bye everyone ! -boings.

i just wanna say -

2005-03-06T18:32:00.000+08:00

today's sunday and i went to church.
i am realli glad that i did. once agn i saw the light, regained my sight, and was reminded of the purpose of my life. and it's at times like this when i truly feel free, and everything just seems so easy to accomplish. i want it to remain like this forever.

there's something i want to say to someone.
its you. you who have touched my life, made me smile with every msg you send. its you who have cared and loved, even when i didnt know you. you were the angel God sent from above, and i never want to lose you. im realli sorry for not opening up. but inside im struggling, tho' you cant see. i always wished we could have a real conversation, but somehow im afraid. i dont know why, but i dont want to feel this way. i realli wish you could see the real me, but i know its my fault. i dont mean to be cold, but i cant help it. thru the msgs, everythg just comes so naturally. but when i see you, i suddenly dont know what to say. all i can say now is : im sorry, i truly am. i hope you understand the reason i behave when you see this. i am ashamed, but i dont know what to do. thank you for everything. i love you.

im sleepy.....yawn

2005-03-04T23:35:00.000+08:00

haha my dearest tudiinsists that i blog abt her. ok i shall. i love my ever dearest tudi chew huimin. she makes me smile. and i know she will get in syf for co. because she can do it. so you better not worry my dear. iloveyouloads.

i love God ! :)

2005-03-04T21:42:00.000+08:00

hoho today was a gd day also (: i just love fridays cos they're sinply the slackiest ! :D i slept for abt 45 mins during clit in mpr. shh.

had geog test . and i didnt study for it cann ! -groans. bt i still did ok la...or at least i tink. ohwells. i realli realli hope it will not be as bad as the chin, or im just simply faint on the spot.

haha i was rather touched my ng's "advice". LoL. she noes im badd at tests. and she was like "aye, later you must do faster k. cos ms lai say got alot of ques den onli got 45 mins to do." and her tone was so serious. like she realli cared a lot (: hehe.

oh mans. im scared. choir is gna have auditions/testings. and everyone has 4 ppl, or sum rather suay ones have 3. bt i have 2 !!! -faints. 2 onli ?! im seriously gna freak out on tt day. i cantcantcant sing wif onli soneone else lor. sighs. i realli need God to pull me thru this.

i thank God so much for bringing me thru this wk. it has not been easy, realli. im sososo glad that thru Him i have the grace of giving. i dont want to be the selfish girl i was in the past. wad He has given to me, i want to give to others too.

i want to bring joy into their lives, blessing them with love, seeing their smiles always reminds me that everything is worth it. all the love that im able to give you is what i have received from Him. dont thank me, thank Him.

oops...

2005-02-25T22:13:00.000+08:00

OOPS. heh actually dere's nthg rong?! heh dno la. so sorry super loong nvr update. chao busy la /:
hmm dere was investiture today. i was an usherer? haha its an experience. e invest was realli nice la :) so proud of sng pmb.

i spent e whole of wed night trying to figure zhou enlai. i ended up making potato man wif plasticine. oh well.

mg liying the piggy loves this song. i love it too :D
a b c d e f g
Jesus died for you and me
h i j k l m n
Jesus died for sinful man Amen !
o p q r s t u
i believe God's word is true
u v w
God has promised you
x y z
a home eternity !
haha its realli cutee. moo says so too ! yay ! :D

im tired, but i still love you.
but ultimately, i will always love Him.

wow so many taggs ! haha oops sorry ill reply ! bye ppl ! -tight huggs.

spoilt........ ):

2005-02-25T21:58:00.000+08:00

hmph ok now my blog is seriously spoilt? y isnt dere anythg exceot posts?! sighs i tink im gna change blog liao. heh wait people (: btw, i had a good day.

VALENTINE'S DAY ! :D

2005-02-14T21:09:00.000+08:00

whee ! today is VALENTINE'S DAY ! haha so happi :D had so much joy and funn in sch today. received loads of cookies and chocos...im gna grow fat ! LoL. -beams. bt found tt i didnt realli prepare enough :( so sadd. cant give some ppl. hmm nvm ! there's always nxt yr ! heh (:

i just love giving ppl presents and seeing the joy on their face :) i realli wish there will be more of this kind of events ! lets make up a "Giving Day" ! LoL. bt it'll be real nice i bet ! heh i want to celebrate christmas in sch too !

life is super duper busy and e feeling of fear and stress and worry is very common. bt i shall never forget the promise i made, the dedication i vowed, that my life, esp this year, would be fully His.

i wish to be His humble servant, waiting at His every command. i wish to be able to serve Him with my whole heart, making His desires mine. there is none greater than my Lord, and i will not bow down to any other than Him. He is my Saviour, my Redeemer, only He can set me free.

haha i love my life the way it is ! i am truly happy with all ive got . for My God is more than enough, indeed He is.

iloveeverysingleoneofyou, yes i do

whee !

2005-02-06T18:37:00.000+08:00

hehe today went for syf prac at SCH. nt sch ah. (: we were rather ok la, nt as bad as i was afraid we wld be. hee i prayed many times for God to give me a gd voice. im still improving tho :D dno y ms lim suddenly change my place...ohwells. anythg la im still in e first row. sighs. heh bt actually i sorta of like standing in e front row. its a lot easier to concentrate.

haha moo insists i blogg abt her prezzie to me. ha so i shall ! whee ! its reallireallirealli super cute tho. its a lil' cow puppet ! its e first puppet i received from anyone. yay ! :D its realli so cute lor.

haix got lotss of sch work undone, yet im bloggin?! haha i need time for myself too rite? i must alwaysalways make time for God, not onli seek Him when im free . that is very impt. He is my first priority, and He always shall be.

whoohoo CNY is comin ! haha wish to get a break from sch ! whee ! i shall always remain contented wif wadever i have, for it is all that i need, and all that He has given unto me. i pray for the grace of giving, that i may reach out to others showing forth the love of Christ.

one of the hardest temptations i face in sch is gossiping. everyone gossips, they talk, they "discuss". bt when i look at the victims, i realli try hard nt to look at them wif the eyes of the world. i do not look at their weakness or their bad points. i want to be moved wif sympathy for them and to be able to share the great news of the gospel with them. the way Christ looked at us, and then with His infinite love laid down His life for us.

that is one mystery i will never understand. who am i, a child of dust? wat am i made of? wat do i have? that i may be worthy of such love. for the Son of God to actually suffer in agony and pain, just to take away my sins. if im not waken by that fact, then i will never see the truth and light. that i am not my own. i was bought with a price, and that is the blood of the Jesus

i want to specially thank someone.
someone whom have touched my life, given me love and care
even though i hardly knew her
you are a very special blessing from the Lord
the big sister i have always wanted
i asked from the Lord and He sent you
i am never more grateful for somebody in my life
who has touched it the way you did
i just wanna say i realli love you

im so blessed !

2005-01-30T16:13:00.000+08:00

heh its long past my b'dae alr. bt i'll nvr forget the joy and blessings i received during that few days (: thanks everyone who wished me or gave me a prezzie ! You are the reason i wore that extra smile on my face !

a few days ago something mean was said to me in an irritating way. i was angry and hurt. i kept tinking of it. i just couldnt bring myself to forgive the person. tt nite i went into i room. i wanted it to be just me and God. i wanted to feel the joy i always felt when in His presence. bt i couldnt. something was blocking me from being in His arms, and i knew the reason. i had failed to forgive someone the way God had forgiven me from all my sins. i tried to repent with a sincere heart, i tried to be revived by His Word once agn. bt i couldnt feel the joy, it just wasnt there. i fell asleep with a troubled heart.

this morning when i woke up, i set my mind to strt e day off with God. i knew i realli couldnt go on w/o Him. i searched myself, and my life for the past few wks. i realised tt i rarely had time for Him, it just wasnt enough. i had failed to kip e promise i made to Him, i had failed to rely on Him in everything i do. there was just so much distractions : school work, assignments, tests, choir practices, everything bt Him. so i knelt down and poured out my heart to Him, asking forgiveness. in tt same time, i asked for grace to forgive and forget, the way He had done with my sins.

now im back in His arms. i have reclaimed the right perspective of life. and its so simple. when i put Him rite in the middle, everything else justs falls around in one bigg circle. put Christ in the centre of your life, and everything will come together . there is no joy greater than the one i feel when im back in His arms, there is peace i cannot find anywhere else. i feel so loved and so blessed, that i am close to God oncemore. it was me who drew further away, He was right there all along. i want to be able to love others the way He loves me, with unconditional love. iloveyouLord

i want to share this lovely song which realli touched me. i love it so much.

I WILL GLORIFY YOUR NAME
Humbly exalting You i come before Your throne
Rejoicing in Your presence
I worship You alone
Great in eternal, ancient of days
Only you are worthy of my praise

I will glorify, glorify
Glorify Your name in all i do
All my praise i bring as an offering
I will glorify Your name

My tongue will never cease to praise Your Holy name
The things of earth will vanish
But You remain the same
From the depths below to the heights above
Nothing can seperate me from Your love

chorus x 2

this song's so nice ! iloveit ! whee ! :D

MY BIRTHDAY !

2005-01-23T08:11:00.000+08:00

MY BIRTHDAY IS FINALLY HERE ! (:
yay ! ive turned 14 liao ! (:im sososo happy ! LoL. my dear friends to wish me 1st are : my dearest mei, pang the rainbow ! chiachia my cowitch, ng the digger ! beebee (: and jaslin the sao ba woman ! my real mommy, plus...MYTWINNI ! iloveyouallsososomuch ! -huggs.
(so far pang wish me 8 times alr. im still counting. shh.)
later after church gna go shopping wif sis and aunt ! LoL. these few days i kip goin out non-stop. on the 21st went out wif mei + liying ! -screams. those 2 goons are seriously e most adorable ones you can ever find ! i had such a blast wif them ! LoL. ilovemymeiplusgongliyingsomuch ! i realli enjoyed my day so much man. i'll nvr forget it ! thanks so much you two ! :D
yst went out wif church frens ! haha took many neos (: and i bought something so super adorable and nice ! whee !
bt amidst all my happiness, i'll nvr forget the most impt person to me. ill nvr forget wad He did for me, how much He suffered, and how much He still loves me. when im down, i strt to count my blessings, and i find that i have so much ! friends like you are truly a blessing to me ! i thank the Lord for every single one of you ! (:

im so happi ! :D

2005-01-20T20:32:00.000+08:00

HELLO :D
LoL. im so happi today. everything seems to happen just right (:
when i went to class i saw this lil super nice present from amah on my table. shes the first friend to give me present ! :D and shes super sweet !!! she typed out so many notes and cut out for everyone to rite a individual msg. den she altogether wrap in aluminium foil and sticked a star in front saying "we love you". so superduper sweet rite? i almost shed tears of joy ! ((((: iloveamah ! haha i thank God for blessing me wif such a nice fren. and not to forget my dear rachel ng and tan ! LoL. iloveyouallsomuch !krislyn aso super nice lor ! i didnt expect to give me a present...one of e earliest somemore ! -bearhuggs.
tmr gna celebrate wif p6 frens . whee ! i cant wait. tho its rather pathetic /: LoL. its realli been ages since we hung out together (: my dearest mei :D
im realli so happi today ! THANK YOU LORD ! For His blessings are ever bountiful, if i just ask for them :D
iloveYouverymuch !

im sick !

2005-01-18T09:29:00.000+08:00

aww man. im sick ! /: haix bt at least i can sort of take a break from school i guess. (: bye ! -boings.

im back !

2005-01-16T15:35:00.000+08:00

im back ! (: wow man i cant believe i haven been here for abt 1 mth /: stupid internet la, spoilt for so long.
hmm christmas was over a longlong time ago, and now chinese new year is strting ! :D yay ! haha. since school strted i had hardly enough time left for God. Mon got third lang, tues got choir, wed got third lang, thurs got choir. only my fri is free. plus alternate sat got youth mtgs. ohwells (:
school is great so far ! im realli happy in my new class, and God has given me great friends. everyday i ask Him to bless me, and everyday He does.
i realli hope i can keep my promise abt dedicating this whole year to Him, its the least i can do after being such a disobedient and rebellious child.
i realli depend on Him for all the courage that i need, all the strength i require when im realli tired and drained out. i want all my actions and words to be pleasing to Him. everytime i feel realli discouraged, left out, lonely, i ask myself : is it realli worth it to sacrifice all these for Him? why cant i just return to my old ways and enjoy all these worldly things so i can be "happy" with my friends and not be termed as a weirdo?
bt each time i find myself saying the ans is yes, it is worth it. if He gave down His life for me, wat more cant i give to Him?
why do i desire the things of the world when i can have heavenly treasures that last forever?
and so each time i am faced with temptations, i turn to Him for strength and courage, for i know that my Lord "will not tempt me beyond what i can bear". Thank you so much, Lord, for everything You've done for me (: iloveYou.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING !

2004-12-21T11:36:00.000+08:00

christmas is coming ! woohoo ! bt i haven finished my hw. haha .
in e midst of all e excitement and laughter, let us nt forget the true meaning of christmas.
it is nt abt giving or receiving, and all e more nt abt santa claus.
its abt the little baby Jesus, born in a manger, all because His small head had no where to rest.

BORN TO DIE
On the night Christ was born
Just before break of morn
As the stars in the sky were fading
O'er the place where He lay
Fell a shadow cold and gray
Of a cross that would humble a King

born to die upon Calv'ry
Jesus suffered my sins to forgive
born to die upon Calv'ry
He was wounded that i might live

Jesus knew when He came
He would suffer in shame
He could feel every pain and sorrow
But He left paradise
With His blood He paid the price
My redemption to Jesus i owe

chorus

From His throne Jesus came
Laid aside Heaven's fame
In exchange for the cross of Calv'ry
For my gain suffered loss
For my sin He bore the cross
He was wounded and i was set free

chorus

Dearest Lord, evermore
May Thy cross i adore
As i follow the path to Calv'ry
Of Thy death i partake
My ambition i forsake
All my will i surrender to Thee

chorus

i surrender my all to Thee, for Thou has given me life.

hols are ending...aww ):

2004-12-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

HI !!!
lol :D was baq frm camp last fri. bt haven gone online till now /:
youth camp is realli enriching, and...i cld feel God in me. i found that i have indeed changed a lot from p6 to s1. i noe change in ppl is inevitable, bt it shld nt affect my testimony in Christ. e life tt i have been living in sec 1 was nt a life tt was pleasing to God. i am of no difference frm e ppl of e world. i have made commitments to Him, and i realli realli hope tt i can kip dem. for He is my Lord, and im jus His servant.
WHEN GOD IS NEAR
Make me feel Your presence Lord
The King of Glory here
You know each thought and action
Hope, anxiety and fear
How can i hide from Thee
Can darkness hide iniquity
Oh how can i unfaithful be
When You are very near to me

when God is near
all the world seems far away
when God is near
every fear is set aside
when God is near
how can i stray
how can i faltar
i'll stay upon the altar
i know my God is near

Make me know Your presence Lord
When i feel so alone
You know each trial and testing pain
The hurt that is unknown
Oh how can i not see
Thy hand so firmly guiding me
Oh how can i untrusting be
When You are very near to me

chorus

sighs. i really owe whatever i have to Him. without Him, im nothing (:

oh man. i haven completed my hw. and i have onli abt 2 wks left ! haix nvm. i'll juz try my best to cram everythg (;
thanks for taggin ppl. i'll link you later xueting and yz , my bamboo ! haha lolx. iloveyou